Moments
by Myde the Turk
Summary: Points of time in the lives of the Penguins. Human!AU. Slash IS present in some of them. I'm sorry if that throws you off.
1. First Quarter

Title: Moments  
Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar  
Characters: Titular Penguins, Hans the Puffin, Dr. Blowhole, Marlene, Phil, Mason, Julien, mentions of Manfredi and Johnson(Shutup), Amarillo Kidd  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?  
Rating: T/PG-13  
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, slash? Marlene making fun of how Private talks  
Author's note: *cough* Well. This is embarrassing, isn't it? Yeah, I know. Human!Penguins of Madagascar. I can't get enough, I s'pose. They took over my brain.  
Additional Note: Their group is the "Penguins" and part of an organization run by the UN. They can still get banned from countries though. *coughDenmarkcough*

* * *

**1 Debug**

"Blasted Søpapegøjer. He just had to bug everything, didn't he? Kowalski. Status report," Skipper said as he sipped at his coffee.

"Other than being completely baffled by the fact that you can pronounce that, I've nearly finished debugging everything," Kowalski stated as he ticked off the second to last box. "Oh dear."

"What?"

"The only room left to debug... is Private's."

"Oh."

**2 Mercy**

Hysterical laughter filled the main room of their HQ. "S-stop! Stop, mercy, mercy!"

"Rico, be nice to the kid," Skipper said, interrupting the fun. Rico dropped the foot he was tickling, and Private started to breathe.

"Aww."

"Thank you Skippah."

**3 Heterosexual**

Kowalski basically considered himself straight. For the most part. Of course, he never really tested that. So when Rico, freaked out by the fact that Private and Skipper were still in the hospital due to injuries, wordlessly asked if he could spend the night in his room, Kowalski said yes.

**4 Sick**

Private rarely got sick. So rarely that Rico, being his big brother figure, could only remember about half a dozen times that he was actually sick. One of those times was due to food poisoning, so Rico's pretty sure that didn't count. Of course, another time he had to be hospitalized because he was so sick. And Rico's certain that cancels out the food poisoning time.

**5 Alternate**

Rico clicked his tongue against one of his molars and gave a short, harsh laugh. An alternate reality where he didn't have that blasted dog attack him, making his family move to the middle of nowhere and he could actually talk.

Kowalski had some pretty cracked up theories, that was for sure.

**6 Discarding**

Kowalski casually discarded an Eight of Hearts. Two hands immediately dove for the pile, their respective owners both claiming "Rummy!" One was raspy, yet excited – the other, fierce. "What did I just do?" Kowalski asked Skipper.

"You just caused the end of the game. Those two are going to have a ninja battle over the right for the trio of eights you just laid!" Skipper avidly watched the resulting war and Rico claimed the pile and somehow managed to go out the next round.

**7 Deficiency**

Due to a caffeine deficiency, Kowalski is very scary before his fourth cup of coffee. He's also a very deadly shot.

**8 Pitfall**

"Did he just...?"

"I'm afraid so, Private."

"But..K'walski, Rico doesn't just walk into pitfalls like that. He's not blind like you are."

**9 Sun**

All four of them liked sitting in the sun. Just not when Julien was around.

**10 Kingdom**

Julien was strange – he considered the four part of his "kingdom." Phil and Mason said it was because he was insane, but that could be coincidence. Right?

**11 Work**

Rico hacked another stick of dynamite from his gut. Just another day on the job.

**12 Forward**

Kowalski tipped Rico's chin up with one of his fingers. "I'm not being too forward, am I?" Rico shook his head. Not a _chance_ of being too forward, in Rico's opinion. He didn't want this screwed up – the way Kowalski was smiling was causing butterflies to flit in his stomach. "Alright." Grasping Rico's chin gently, sliding his thumb across the old scar, Kowalski captured Rico's lips with his own.

**13 Brake**

"APPLY THE BRAKES, APPLY THE BRAKES!" Okay, so it was a bad idea to try to teach Private to drive on the right side of the road. Crazy Brits, driving on the wrong side of the street. Teaching Rico hadn't been this bad, what were they thinking?

**14 Entity**

"There's something between them, Skippah. I can feel it." Sixteen-year-old Private had his arms crossed, wrapped around his stomach. Biting his lip, he continued, "It's like an entity, or something. I know I can't do anything about it. I just gotta let it be."

"Buck up, soldier. They'll figure it out." It was a small act, but it cheered Private. To Skipper, that's all that mattered.

**15 Consciousness**

Skipper flitted in and out of consciousness. Slowly, very slowly, memories of the past handful of days pelted him. Manfredi and Johnson! _Dr. Blowhole!_ He had to leave. The Danish authorities would be after him. Had to... had to move.

It hurt too much to move. Skipper was on the verge of blacking out again, but he barely heard someone talking to him. They said, "Easy, Skipper, easy. I'll get you out. Don't worry."

**16 Recycling**

"Alright me, commencing Operation: Move Recycling in three... two...one... Now!"

**17 Causing**

Stilling caused the others stop as well. Rico twitched once and rasped, "Dogs," causing Skipper to look at him like he was nuts and Kowalski and Private to look on in sympathy.

**18 Inspection**

That glare was starting to irritate Private. He managed to ignore it and continue his inspection of his "friend" Amarillo Kidd. "Don't look at me like that. It was your brilliant idea to come to New York City in January. It's _cold_."

**19 Vein**

Kowalski weighed his options. On one hand, his team was injured in some back alley with Blowhole's minions waiting to kill them. On the other, he was captured and in the same room as Blowhole, with the doctor waiting for his word to either command the minions or inject him with something. Making his decision, Kowalski breathed in and out.

"Don't hurt them." Dr. Blowhole just smiled and held up a syringe.

**20 Situating**

Rico moved, subconsciously situating himself between his injured teammates and the brainwashed and crazy Kowalski. How was he going to defeat Kowalski without seriously injuring him? Added on to that was defeating Blowhole. It wasn't going to be pretty.

**21 Croissant**

"Drop the croissant and you don't get hurt." Behind his glasses, Kowalski's eye twitched a little. Hans Søpapegøjer showing up in the middle of breakfast to steal his food was not something to be tolerated. He kept the gun's sights leveled on Søpapegøjer's torso and plucked the helpless pastry from the offending Dane's hand. "Don't steal my food. Steal somebody else's."

**22 Gnome**

Kowalski glared at the gnome. The gnome just stared back with its enigmatic facial expression. Skipper looked between the two. "Kowalski, leave the gnome alone, it didn't do anything."

"Not yet, Skipper, not yet it hasn't. Gnomes are _evil_."

**23 Scenario**

"Describe the scenario for me, Marlene," Private said. Marlene just laughed. "What? What's so funny?"

In between fits of laughter, Marlene replied, "You! You said sen-AR-io. It's sen-_air_-Io. That's so funny." Private was not amused.

**24 Leg pain**

Kowalski didn't realize that what he thought was simply a pulled muscle in his leg was something torn. He had moved wrong and landed on his side, right leg in an unholy amount of pain. It kept him out of several missions, including the one where Manfredi and Johnson were killed and Skipper was traumatized for life.

As far as Kowalski was concerned, it was all his fault.

**25 Roulette**

"Anybody else wanting to bet? No? Well then...," Private said, spinning the roulette wheel. "Black 17. It's yours, sir." He pushed the stack of betting chips towards the young man wearing a cowboy hat.

"Thank ye kindly, Mr. Tux," the young man said, lifting up the brim of his hat.

Private narrowed his eyes. "Amarillo Kidd. I wondered if I'd see you here." Inwardly, Private was slightly worried that the Texan would blow his cover, but Kidd only winked.

"If possible, I'd like to talk to you after your shift," Kidd stated. Private nodded. The look in Kidd's eyes had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.

* * *

So. by this point, I'd normally ask you to review, but we all know that you probably won't. So. I hope you enjoyed, and will consider reading more, or reading this again. It's all the same to me.

But please, no flames, okay? and if you do, I'm gonna use them to melt the ice from that nasty storm a couple weeks ago.

In case you didn't notice, 'Søpapegøjer' is Hans the Puffin. I used an online translator to find out what "puffin" is in Danish.

Oh, and **Situating** is a continuation of **Vein**.

(Reviews would be loved.)


	2. Second Quarter

Title: Moments  
Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar  
Characters: Titular Penguins, Hans the Puffin, Dr. Blowhole, Marlene, Julien, several mentioning Manfredi and Johnson (Shutup), Amarillo Kidd, Roger the Gator  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?  
Rating: T/PG-13  
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, slash,

* * *

**26 Cube**

Jiggles bobbled back and forth, waiting for his supper. Kowalski was a good master – he always fed Jiggles on time.

**27 Execute**

Hans Søpapegøjer sat in the back corner of his cell. Only hours previously had the criminal underworld learned of his stance as a deep cover agent. By this point, he figured, his captors would be torn between simply executing him and torturing him before they killed him. Hearing a noise, Hans looked up, trying to pinpoint the location from which the sound came. Upon realizing just where the sound was coming from, he stiffly stood up and jerkily moved from his corner to the one opposite it.

"It's about time," he said, smiling faintly at his rescuers.

Skipper just smirked and pulled an unsteady Hans through the escape tunnel.

**28 Asylum**

All of them understood. It was only temporary. Søpapegøjer would have to go into hiding if only to live. It was only until his wounds were healed. Two days after a physician declared him fit to move about again, he disappeared.

**29 Uniform**

Skipper and Kowalski stood back to back, surrounded by enemies. All of them were wearing the same dull uniform. And they all had the same eerily blank eyes.

**30 Tool**

Neither of them would believe it if they hadn't seen it for their very own. The scarred kid had pulled a crowbar out of his mouth, a place where a tool that large shouldn't be able to fit. And Skipper saw the terrified insanity in his eyes when he turned towards them – it wasn't right. He couldn't have been more than twenty.

Skipper motioned towards the kid and Kowalski instantly understood. They were getting him out of there.

**31 Mad**

Every year without fail, Kowalski dropped off the face of the earth for three days. Not even Skipper knew where he went and he'd known Kowalski the longest. It wasn't until Skipper's contact in the criminal underworld let them know that there was a three-day-long mad scientist convention going on. The first day coincided exactly with the day Kowalski disappeared.

**32 Power**

It wasn't well known, but Kowalski had power in the scientific community – specifically that of the mad science community. Coming from an old family had its benefits. However, having to both open and close the convention every year while disappearing from his teammates was getting old. But he met with scientists from all walks of life – mad or not – once a year, and there wasn't a thing in the world that would prevent it from occurring.

**33 Right**

Skipper dodged the fist thrown at his face. He remembered _exactly_ what happened the last time he let Private land a right hook.

**34 Lawyer**

Certified lawyer, Maurice was not. But when you were continuously dealing with the likes of King Julien, you were fluent in legalese and learned all the loopholes fairly quick.

**35 Fin**

"Saw a fin, do do do-do doodoo. Saw a fin, do do do-do doodoo. Saw a fin, do do do-do doodoo. Saw a fin. Swam real fast, do do do-do doodoo. Swam real fast, do do do-do doodoo. Swam real fast, do do do-do doodoo. Swam real fast. Shark attack!" Upon saying 'shark attack!', Private promptly jumped on top of Rico and held on for dear life. Rico could have sworn that the young man didn't have anything even _remotely_ caffeine related for days. So why the strange little chant and jump?

**36 Ravioli**

"Where's the blasted can opener?" Private rummaged through the cabinets trying to find the object.

"Private? What are you doing?" Skipper asked, warily standing in the door of the kitchen.

"I wanted ravioli but the can opener is missing!" Skipper only sighed as he pointed at the can opener on the counter. "Oh. Thank you!"

**37 Lead**

Twirling the lead pipe in his fingers, Rico just stood ominously, glaring at the scrawny young men blocking his way to his teammates. When one of the men got too close, Rico stopped twirling and hit him with the pipe. "Let me through," he rasped, and they parted. Stepping to his teammates, he noted Private's faint bobble back and forth and Kowalski's lack of movement and heard Skipper walking toward them all. "Found them."

"Good job, Rico. Good job."

**38 Prairie**

Private twitched – and 'twitched' is the only good word for what he did. It was the only thing that conveyed his horror at the scene before him – acres and acres of nothing but wheat fields and corn rows. "I'm sitting in the car and if you talk to me, I will _bite_ you," he said, slamming the door to the car shut behind him.

Skipper just asked what his problem was and Kowalski replied that it was because he was "British, of the English variety, specifically from the area around London. They don't have prairies like we do."

**39 Beetle**

It was crawling across him, closely followed by one of its disgusting friends. Private suppressed a squeal as a third and soon forth beetle walked on him. It couldn't be soon enough that the beetles stopped walking on him and he quickly breathed in and made a mad dash towards the bathroom to either throw up or scrub his skin until it was raw.

**40 Bomb**

Skipper held point, his back to the team, who were frantically trying to defuse a bomb that was threatening the whole city.

Yet another day on the job.

**41 Dictionary**

In front of Kowalski's nose was a dictionary. To be more specific, an unabridged dictionary, roughly four and a half thousand pages of words. _In small print._ And it was sitting on top of his blueprints for the next project. Kowalski glared at the dictionary, it offended him that much. Reluctantly, he poked the damnably large book with his finger, willing it to move from it's perch.

Luckily for Kowalski, Rico happened to be passing by Kowalski's lab at that moment and took pity on him, moving the dictionary.

**42 Knife**

_Skipper and Kowalski stood back to back, Manfredi and Johnson not far from them. The two had small knives held in front of them – a far cry from what they usually used, those knives. Skipper batted the men circling them away with his, Kowalski doing the same. _

"Skipper," Kowalski began, "remember these?" In his hands were the same knives from that day.

**43 Silo**

Private's horror was getting worse. The team was sitting in the shadow of something Kowalski called a "silo." Added on to the fact that none of them had any idea where they were, it only served to make Private's hatred of the American Midwest even deeper.

**44 Ivy**

"Really, Søpapegøjer, ivy? Really? It's not like the vines will hold us," Skipper taunted.

_Ten minutes later..._

"You had to say that, didn't you Skipper?" Kowalski asked, wobbling back and forth, trying to dislodge the ivy vines holding him. Rico just glared at their leader, daring him to say something.

"Not. Another. Word."

**45 Stick**

Skipper was bouncing on the balls of his feet, but only on the inside. On the outside, he was stoic, uncaring that Kowalski had made a giant whacking stick just for him.

**46 Duck**

"He was no trouble at all, Mrs. O'Malley," Private said, handing the sleeping child over to the harried woman. Private waved as he shut the door, oblivious to the look Skipper was giving him.

"Uh...Private?" Kowalski gestured. Private looked at him. "Duck."

**47 Bed**

The mission they were on was exhausting. When the team reached the hotel they were staying at, none of them really cared about the fact that there were only two beds. Rico and Kowalski collapsed in the bed closer to the door, not really caring about the mission in favor of sleep. This didn't even faze Skipper and Private, used to such displays. Ignoring everyone and everything else, Private curled up on one side of the remaining bed, Skipper flopping on the other.

**48 Spanner**

"It's like throwing a spannah in the works. Bad things will happen." Private looked mildly annoyed.

Skipper just looked mildly confused. "Kowalski. Translate. A spanner is...?"

"It's English. For a wrench."

"Ah. Private. American English. Please."

"Yes, sir. Sorry sir."

**49 Savior**

Roger was one of those guys who looked pants-wettingly scary when he wasn't smiling and he wasn't particularly happy right now. There were men harassing his customers and generally being trouble. So his usual jovial smile was sinking. God forbid Roger start scowling. But he didn't want to have to pull out the baseball bat, he really didn't.

He did have to, in the end. His bar was one frequented by Mob when they weren't really on duty. The quiet atmosphere attracted them like flies.

But the reason for pulling out the bat wasn't for the Mob men. It was for the young couple in the corner booth. Though the two didn't even realize it, he was quite possibly their savior.

**50 Limp**

On a good day, and most days were good days, Kowalski's limp was faint and bairly noticable. On a bad day, and most days in the winter were bad, the limp was far more pronounced and was actually painful.

Today was a bad day.

Skipper noticed it as soon as Kowalski silently limped into the kitchen, pointing it out to Private. "Watch what Rico does. He's going to guide Kowalski to a chair and then give him three Extra-Strength Tylenol. Just you see." Rico did exactly that, and in addition to the Tylenol, a steaming mug of black coffee was delicately placed in front of the half-asleep scientist.

Kowalski swallowed the pills and sipped at the coffee, pulling Rico in for a kiss once he was sufficiently awake enough to function. Skipper ignored the PDA in favor of his paper and Private marveled because neither Kowalski nor Rico were very touchy-feely in front of anyone. Ever. It made Private happy that they were comfortable enough to show him and Skipper such displays.

But _why _did it have to be at the kitchen table?

* * *

So. by this point, I'd normally ask you to review, but we all know that you probably won't. So. I hope you enjoyed, and will consider reading more, or reading this again. It's all the same to me.

But please, no flames, okay? and if you do, I'm gonna use them to melt the ice from that nasty storm a couple weeks ago.

**Asylum** follows **Execute**

**Tool** follows **Uniform**

**Power** follows **Mad**

**Silo** follows **Prairie**

(Reviews would be loved.)

**Edit 3-10-11:** Fixed some HTML coding I accidentally left in. Darn you DA HTML.


	3. Third Quarter

Title: Moments  
Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar  
Characters: Titular Penguins, Hans the Puffin, Dr. Blowhole, Marlene, Phil, Mason, Julien, several mentioning Manfredi and Johnson (Shutup), Amarillo Kidd, Marlene's nieces (Badgers Becky and Stacy), Mrs. O'Malley (Mama Duck) & Her kids, Roger the Alligator, Max the Stray Cat  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?  
Rating: T/PG-13  
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, blatant slash in 52, 53, 58, 65; subtle slash in 62, 57  
Author's note: *cough* Well. It's been a little while, hasn't it? These guys were whining, it's okay.

* * *

**51 Instant (Superhero!AU) **(b/c I watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog far too many times) (Captain- Skipper, Dr. D- Evil!Kowalski, Mr. Tux- Private, Bombardier/Bomb- Rico, "Danish Nut"- Hans the Puffin)

Whoever he was, he looked like a younger version of Dr. D, with the addition of goggles to block others from seeing his eyes. Bombardier had a faint feeling of recognition, almost like he should know the young man in the black lab coat. He even fought in a similar manner to a hero Bombardier once knew.

While Captain and Mr. Tux were fighting the Danish nut, Bomb managed to get a drop on the villain in front of him. Straddling the struggling man, Bomb grabbed the goggles. The villain instantly stilled, fearful of the goggles being removed.

Bomb continued to remove the goggles. The first few seconds after they were taken were tense until Bomb asked, "Teck?"

The simple word caused the villain to throw Bomb off him, grab his goggles and say, "It's Dr. D."

The Dane was waiting for Dr. D at a broken window near the ceiling. D pulled out a grappling gun and utilized it to get up to the window and escape.

**52 Injury (Rico/Kowalski)**

Rico awoke with a light, but not uncomfortable, weight on his chest. Blearily, he opened one eye and looked, a not entirely unwelcome sight greeting his open eye. A mostly naked Kowalski was sleeping on him, looking utterly relaxed. It wasn't often that Rico managed to catch a glimpse of complete serenity on the older man's face. Glancing at the rest of Kowalski, Rico noticed a fresh bandage, wrapped tight around Kowalski's upper arm. Rico traced it, not happy with how the scientist had gotten injured. Getting shot at was one thing, but putting yourself into the bullet's path for someone else was a whole 'nother ballpark.

It pained Rico that Kowalski had gotten hurt for him.

**53 Scar (Hans/Skipper)**

They had to stop meeting like they were – his team would no doubt find out. He was certain Kowalski had figured out/knew something was up. But Skipper was distracted from his light musing with a well placed bite to his neck. He grasped battle-scarred arms and gasped, arching into the Dane smirking against him.

**54 Small**

Max was a scrawny homeless kid, that much Roger knew. What Roger didn't know was why Skipper thought it was a good idea to leave the kid with him.

Oh well. Making sure he ate enough wasn't going to be hard. There was nothing to Max, and he was eating well, now that he was in Roger's capable hands.

For the first time in a long time, Max thought things were looking up.

**55 Track**

All told, it was a nice day for a jog. As Skipper finished his final lap, he noticed his eternal frienemy leaning up against the fence surrounding the track, dark trench coat fluttering in the light breeze.

A previously nice day was turning interesting.

**56 Inn**

Skipper awoke to the sound of a door slamming open. Abruptly sitting up, he groaned and fell flat. He made a mental note to self: _Don't do that again_. He turned and looked at the door and saw a panicked Kowalski standing there. "Ko...walski?"

"God, it _is_ you." Kowalski placed a hand over his mouth and stumbled towards the bed. "You went missing. The GPS tracker shut down – I couldn't find you." Skipper knew Kowalski's babbling was a defense mechanism – he knew Kowalski was terrified that he would lose Skipper like they did Manfredi and Johnson. "Why – why are you covered in Deutschmarks? We weren't even near Germany! We're in an inn in Kyoto!"

Skipper looked confused, and picked up a Deutschmark. "It's counterfeit?"

"It might be tied to that ring we busted a month ago."

"Could be."

**57 Frame**

Private was panting slightly, his light frame shifting with each breath. Straddling him was Amarillo Kidd. "Hate you, so much," Private whispered, the short words breathy. Kidd only smiled.

**58 Hair (Rico/Kowalski)**

Rico watched as Kowalski ran a hand through his hair, the black strands falling back into place. As Rico stared, a scowl affixed itself to Kowalski's face and the pencil in his hand snapped. It always amused Rico when his more scientific-minded lover was stuck in a slump.

**59 Toothpick**

It was a wooden toothpick, the kind often found in tiny plastic baggies in restaurants. In the right hands, however, that little scrap of wood could be deadly. This morning, one was in Rico's hand.

And he wasn't happy.

**60 Radiator**

"Private?"

"Yes, Skippah?"

"What did a radiator ever do to you?"

"Nothing."

"Then why did you make it blow up?"

"It was fun."

**61 Cover**

"Private's pyromania aside, what's new?"

"A deep-cover agent was found out."

"What?"

"Yes. Apparently his position was compromised."

"Well, who was it?"

"You're not going to believe – or like – this, but..."

"Spit it out, Kowalski, we haven't got all day!"

"It's Hans."

"...Not possible."

"Oh, entirely possible."

"Then I guess it's Operation: Save Deep Cover."

**62 Quarry**

_Keeping just enough balance to not fall to his doom, Hans ran along the edge of a quarry, one eye focused on the rather large drop just to his right. In front of him was a wide gap, and on the other side, salvation. Skipper and his team were waiting just on the far side of that gap, and he didn't even want to think about what was behind him. _

_With a last prayer he leaped, hoping fervently that he'd make it._

Skipper woke before he could find out, jerking forward and getting choked by his seat belt. Beside him, Kowalski glanced over, barely taking his eyes from the road. "Skipper, it's 3:30 in the morning, and you don't need to drive for a few more hours. Go back to sleep."

"Right."

**63 Oil**

It was slick and sticky and _gross._ Private shuddered when he realized there was bound to be a rainbow-colored sheen covering him because of the oil. It was so gross and it wasn't coming off, no matter what he did.

**64 Duckies**

"Come along, my duckies, it's going to be a great adventure." Private's voice was happy, filled with joy.

Skipper was not amused in the slightest.

**65 Even**

Skipper eased his key into the door's lock, willing it to open silently. Thankfully it did, but as Skipper tiptoed across the living room, he heard someone say, "I honestly don't care if you continue to visit him, just don't let it interfere with missions."

Wincing, Skipper replied, "Kowalski. You know I won't." It wasn't often that Skipper remembered Kowalski had been in the business even longer than he'd been, but when he did, it was a painful reminder.

Kowalski looked up from his book with a slightly disappointed look on his face. "I know you won't, but... Look, just be careful, alright? I don't want you going the way of Manfredi and Johnson." Skipper eased his way towards Kowalski, noting that the older man was sitting on the couch with both Private and Rico sleeping on him.

"Trust me, Kowalski, I don't either. It would rip these two apart, and who knows what it'd do to you."

"I'm holding that to you. Don't do anything crazier than usual."

**66 Cemetery**

"Johnson, you asshole," Manfredi griped. Johnson and Kowalski just looked back at their teammate huddling beside a gravestone. "There is something inherently wrong with a cemetery. It's filled with dead people!"

Kowalski and Johnson shared a glance. "Uh... you do realize you're beside a gravestone and on a grave, right?" Kowalski's soft words caused Manfredi to scream and jump onto Johnson.

"...Mission aborted. We're going home." Johnson's face was mildly disgusted as the three of them walked back to their car.

**67 Crown**

Private placed some supplies in a small purple bag and dropped it in his duffel bag.

He was certain that his enemies wouldn't be expecting a blackjack made from a Crown Royal bag.

**68 Hoot**

If Rico tried really hard (read: didn't pay any real attention) he could sound just like one of the owl's in Central Park. It startled Kowalski the first time he heard it and prompted him to conduct several studies in which Rico had to hoot.

The whole thing amused Private and Skipper to no end.

**69 Sack**

Mrs. O'Malley loved her kids, she really did. But she was in the firm belief that putting your brother in a sack and leaving him in there was a bad idea. So why her boys insisted on doing so was beyond her.

**70 Hymn**

A soft, mournful melody tumbled out of Hans' mouth. He was in an old cemetery, in some remote area of Denmark. Standing in front of three nondescript headstones, he stepped forward and placed flowers on each of the graves. As he placed the final flowers, he sang the final notes of his hymn to fallen comrades.

**71 Solution**

Private hated the Midwest. And to him, the only solution to get out was to burn the whole thing, but no, it had rained twice since they started this mission and it was pissing him off even more. To top it all off, they'd gotten lost four times, proving, once again, Rico shouldn't be allowed to drive anywhere.

On the other hand, they'd made scarily good time when Kowalski drove, owing to the fact that he had no issues about the flats at all. Private's other option of beating the secret out of his oldest teammate was looking nicer and nicer.

Skipper finally noticed Private's pain and twitchy manner and took pity on the young Brit, handing him a blindfold and telling him to wear it until they stopped for the evening. Or until it was Private's turn to drive. Whichever came first.

**72 Watching**

If he were to be honest with himself, Rico would say that he enjoyed pulling the graveyard shift when they were on missions. But he wasn't normally and he just said that it gave him a chance to think. It was mostly watching his teammates, his _friends_, and protecting their backs like they did his. And it wasn't any more complicated than that.

**73 Restlessly**

"...It's...raining?" Kowalski stopped in the doorway and stared up at the dark sky, taking in the rich smells and sight. "It's gong to _storm_," he murmured, eyes shining as he turned and fully addressed his teammates.

Private noted that Rico scowled and Skipper ran his hand down his face. "Enjoy your storm, Kowalski, I'm going to...go... do something," Skipper said, turning around and waving his hand as he walked back inside. Rico sighed and went in as well, to wait out the storm and Kowalski's crazy.

As the storm raged on, Private looked between the restlessly pacing Rico and the oddly happy Kowalski sitting just outside the porch's protection. Looking to Skipper for some kind of explanation, he was surprised with a muttered, "Kowalski's got a thing for danger. I don't know." It was a strange way of putting things, but it made sense, in a twisted sort of way.

**74 Stain**

It was a good thing the team's clothes were usually either black or solid white. Blood stained and was a bitch to get out. Good thing industrial bleach was available in many sizes.

**75 Manicure**

Private nodded off as Marlene's nieces buffed, shined and polished his nails. He was glad for the brief rest from the crazy and hyper young girls from Michigan.

Even if it meant having to deal with a mani-pedi.

* * *

Read, review, recycle? So, additional notes. Since you're getting 71-75 sooner than those peeps on DA who get this updated every ten, I have to come up with good explanations.

51 is b/c I watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog far too many times. (Captain- Skipper, Dr. D- Evil!Kowalski, Mr. Tux- Private, Bombardier/Bomb- Rico, "Danish Nut"- Hans the Puffin) (Hans' true villain name is what I keep using for a last name - Søpapegøjer)  
52... I don't rightly know  
53... Hans and Skipper demanded. I was writing 52 and the next thing I remember was blinking and seeing that on the page. It's a "what the hell?" moment.  
55... Frienimy=Hans. In my headcanon, Human!Hans has a black trench coat. Lined with Kevlar. And he wears it year round.  
56...One of the episodes I swear I remember hearing something about Skipper waking up in a hotel in Kyoto on a bed covered in counterfeit Deutschmarks. I think it was in "Mr. Tux."  
57 was also inspired by the "Mr. Tux" episode.  
58. I kind of liked 58. I actually remember writing 58.  
60... Private wanted to blow up a radiator, what's wrong with that? And I guess it could come before 61.  
61 comes before Execute and Asylum  
64 was so I could write Private saying Duckies. That's all.  
66... I couldn't resist. I'd been reading way too much paranormal crap the few hours before writing it and blame that. I slept with my iPod on and my Lava Lamp lit. As for Manfredi and Johnson's ambiguity... I didn't really know what to do with them, so there you go.  
67... I kind of didn't want to do anything about Julien in this one. It would have been too easy.  
70 depresses me.71, on the other hand, amuses me. It ties in with Prairie and Silo.  
73... Skipper's explanation is as good as any, I guess.

I hope you enjoyed, and I update these sooner on deviantArt, so be on the watch there. You can access my DA page through my profile.


	4. Fourth Quarter

Title: Moments  
Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar  
Characters: Titular Penguins, Hans the Puffin, Dr. Blowhole, Marlene, Phil, Mason, Julien, several mentioning Manfredi and Johnson (Shutup), Amarillo Kidd, Mentions Uncle Nigel, Arlene (Marlene. Spoiler: in the show (an unaired episode) Marlene's fur gets bleached after getting dumped in chlorinated H2O. Apparently Skipper likes her since she acts different as well.) Savio, Buck Rockgut, Some random kids,  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?  
Rating: T/PG-13  
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, character death, threats, slash? I think? Think? Hah. There is., Several other AUS  
Author's note: *cough* Well. This is embarrassing, isn't it? Yeah, I know. More Human!Penguins of Madagascar. I can't get enough, I s'pose. Longest chapter yet.

* * *

**76 Doctor (Medical!AU) (Kowalski – ER doc, some clinic time; Skipper – Surgeon; Rico – Physical Therapist, some clinic time; Private – (unmentioned) Nurse)**

Finally the ER quieted down. Dr. Damian Kowalski peeled off his blood-covered latex gloves and tossed them in a biohazard waste can before wiping the back of his hand on his forehead. A four-car pileup involving both a bus and a semi was nothing to laugh at, but thankfully there were few casualties.

Sitting in the hospital's cafeteria, Kowalski rested his elbows on the table with his hands in front of his face. He was staring out at nothing when someone clapped his shoulder and said, "You look like you've had a busy day."

"Sir, wha... what brings you here?" Kowalski asked, mildly surprised that the surgeon was in the lunchroom for once. Stefan Ericks, or Skipper as he preferred to be called, sat across from Kowalski at his little table.

"Don't call me sir." Unfortunately for Skipper, he was promptly ignored as one of the physical therapists, Richard "Rico" Gibson, found their table and made a beeline nearly straight for it. (unfortunately there were tables in his direct way)

"'ello," he whispered, sitting next to Kowalski. The three sat in the cafeteria for a while, conversing and generally chatting about their day.

It was a peaceful way to spend a break.

**77 Hand (AU) ("James Bond" Private; CIA – rest of team. One who says "We know" - Skipper)**

The young British man extended one hand towards the closest of the three CIA agents and said, "Bond. James Bond."

The one closest to him merely looked at the outstretched limb and stated, "We know."

**78 Cream**

It was a delicate job, and Private knew it. He studied Rico moving his hands gently, but precisely. Who knew so much work went into creaming eggs for salad?

**79 Burble**

The team had found themselves captured by Blowhole once again. He was ranting about something or other when a slightly crazed laugh burbled from Kowalski's general direction. "You really believe it... you really believe your own bullshit!" Even Blowhole was startled by the normally calm scientist's crazy. Striding towards the mad scientist, Kowalski escaped the cuffs he was locked in and tossed them away. Grasping a hold of Blowhole's collar, he stated, "You really have no idea, do you?" With one final snort, he strode out of the lair.

Rico and Private were both baffled while Skipper was hyperventilating slightly. _Not good_, he thought. _Not here, not now. This is bad. How could he lose it _now_?_

"Rico, Blind Date Special." Skipper's command had an immediate response, one ending in Blowhole lying on the floor looking startled and the team furiously picking handcuff locks and leaving, setting off an alarm that Skipper knew would garner some attention. "We need to get our wayward scientist. Move out men."

**80 Certify (Direct sequel to Burble)**

Mere hours after Kowalski's swift dip into insanity, Skipper and the crew had convened in their HQ, a map of NYC spread out on the table. Placing a folder on the table, Skipper opened it and started circling places indicated. Rico and Private exchanged a confused glance and Private shakily asked, "What happened to Kowalski? I mean, why'd he snap?"

Skipper looked up at his remaining teammates with a haggard look on his face. "I'm not entirely certain why he snapped," he replied. "All I know is that we have to take him down. The last time he went nuts, he went on a week long crime spree."

Rico went still. "How bad?" he rasped his question.

"His brand of crazy is different than any other I've ever seen. As far as I know, it crops up in random intervals and he does a complete 180. Last time it was before we rescued Rico here." Skipper pointed to the circled coordinates. "These are the sites he targeted previously. We have no details about how he's going to go about this time."

**81 Screech**

"SON OF A FUCKING _BITCH_!" A crashing sound from the basement accompanied the screech.

Skipper looked up from his paper, Private dropped his bowl of cereal and Rico sighed. Something exploded in the lab again, from the sound of the language coming from the basement.

Soon enough, Kowalski stalked up from his lab, soaking wet and covered in ash. Seeing all of them, he said, "One word, and I swear to God, I'll cut your heads off, scoop out your brains and give them to Mrs. O'Malley's kids, telling them it's yogurt. Don't doubt me." Still pissed off, he strode angrily to the back of their home and to the shower.

Ash, like blood, is a bitch to get out of clothes.

**82 Chance (General AU where their team never formed, and several key things had never happened.)**

It was a chance encounter. It would have happened maybe one in every million. His eyes met with someone else's and for a split second, it was like he knew exactly who they were, even who the were to him.

It was like they had been best friends in another world and had been robbed of that opportunity here.

It was the creepiest thing Stefan Ericks had ever encountered and he hoped it never happened again.

**83 Tired (Genderbent!AU in which half the team is women. You'll see who)**

The mission had taken a little longer than was expected, and Rico was beyond exhausted, not to mention half-carrying Private into their home. The small woman was asleep on her feet, and likely wouldn't last however long it took them to brief Skipper on the mission.

After tersely debriefing Skipper, Rico carried her to her room and placed her in her bed, fully ready to escape to his own for a time, despite the early hour. Finally arriving at his own room, Rico opened the door and paused. Something was off. Nothing really obvious was different, there was just a hint of something wrong.

And then he noticed it. In the center of his bed was a lump. A roughly human-shaped lump. Rico sighed and walked over to it. Poking the lump, it moved, snaking an arm out and pulling on his. Smiling a little, he got under the covers and slid in behind the lump, whispering, "Kowalski, I thought you were working."

"Tired, couldn't sleep," Kowalski answered faintly, leaning back against Rico. "You're safe," she continued. Rico ran a hand through her short wavy, black hair and smiled once more as he noticed Kowalski falling asleep against him.

**84 Left**

"_Not the left one, no."_

Kowalski's slightly freaked out statement made the rest of the team ponder. Why the hell had Kowalski – mostly mild-mannered, fairly easy to get along with Kowalski – had a herring shoved up his right nostril?

**85 Pain (Not sure if I want to classify this as End-of-the-World!AU or not)**

Wherever they were, it could be considered hell. Gangs ran rampant, and civilians getting caught in the cross-fire was at an all time high. The team was trying to get as many bystanders away from the current shoot-out as possible, without getting caught themselves.

Grenades were something they had thought the gangs would have. On the other hand, frag grenades were certainly unexpected.

Grunting in pain, Kowalski landed on Rico, knocking them both to the ground. Rico was fairly uninjured from the grenade, but Kowalski... was bad. Rico tried to stem the blood, but Kowalski told him to stop. It wasn't helping.

"'m sorry," Kowalski whispered, breathing shallowly. His eyes were barely open.

"Don't," Rico said, still trying to stem the flow of blood.

"love... you," Kowalski continued. Rico was nearly unable to reply before Kowalski's eyes slid shut and he breathed out quietly, going limp in Rico's arms.

Sitting silently while war raged around him, Rico quickly regained his bearings and kissed Kowalski one last time and stood, determined to take out as many gangsters with him as possible.

**86 Salve (Genderbend!AU, this time with added Fem!Hans) **

"Listen, I don't care if you and Skipper do have casual sex, Hanne, all I'm saying is don't let it interfere with our missions." Kowalski's soft voice penetrated the slight haze of pain Hanne was feeling. Still applying salve to Hanne's burns, the other woman was noting where the worst of them were.

At one of the bad ones, Hanne hissed and tried to pull away.

"Don't move away from me, especially when I'm trying to lecture you," Kowalski stated, pulling the slightly older woman back against her. "Now hold still, dammit." Several minutes of bandaging, taping, spreading salve and other various ways to help with injuries later, Kowalski asked, "What the hell happened? You were fine the last time I saw you."

"...Accident. I was... delivering some documents. Next thing I know I was lying on my back in the middle of the street and in pain." Private chose that moment to poke her head into the room and quietly ask if they needed anything.

Kowalski mentioned Ibuprofen and stood to go get it, making Hanne lie down. "Look, I'm not an MD, so I can't give you anything from across the counter, but what you mostly need now is sleep. Get it. We'll watch out for you."

**87 Bellows (Fantasy!AU)**

"Rico, do you have the tiny bellows I need so I can heat this potion correctly?" Kowalski asked, looking for the mute mage. The alchemist stood up from his work table and stepped around it, peering through his little shop. He found his close friend outside, showing some young townsfolk magic, simple and flashy. Rico had smiled the moment he spotted Kowalski.

With his hands, Rico made a signing motion and Kowalski moved closer, smiling in return. "Sorry, kids, we've got work."

Once all of them groaned and the majority left, a little boy tugged on Kowalski's tunic and asked, "Mr. 'Walski, do you know when you'll have my mother's tonics ready?"

Kneeling, he replied, "Don't worry, Nicolas, her tonics are part of the reason I need Mr. Rico's help. Can you come back later today?" The boy nodded and ran after his friends, satisfied with the answer. "We need to hurry. I recently received word someone was looking for the figure. We need to make those tonics and leave."

As the two entered the shop, a call was heard from the road, "Apothecary, I have need of your assistance in a grave matter."

Rico pulled out his staff, but Kowalski made a motion that stopped him before he could magic the caller. "Sir Knight," Kowalski answered, "I am not an apothecary, but an alchemist. What could you possibly want with me?"

"So you _are_ the one they were speaking of." The knight looked thoughtful and dismounted from his horse. "I require assistance guarding a...diplomat from the capital to another area. You and your companion are the only ones able to help me. Are you in?"

Kowalski and Rico had a short "conversation" involving many gestures, arm flailing, and pointed looks at the knight.

Scowling, Kowalski said, "Fine. We'll help you."

**88 Price (Genderbend!AU)**

"Don't go," she says, but he's sleeping. She says it to herself. She picks up her things from around the room, noting they'd gotten a little rough. She's crying a little now, realizing that she has to escape, has to leave and not look back if she's to protect him from those after her. She sits on the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around her, trying to muffle her sobs. Once she's composed herself, she stands, walks away and pauses at the doorway, half turning around and says, "Everyone's got their price, Skipper. Even me."

Hanne steps out the door, no longer looking back. She knows that she'll stay and try to explain if she did.

But she can't.

**89 Found (in line with Burble and Certify)**

Hans sighed from his perch in the top corner of a warehouse. He debated the sanity of his frienemy asking him to find the scientist that lost it. But it had been a week and he was nowhere to be found. Not a single clue anywhere, no outlandish crimes, no more-mysterious-than-usual disappearances, not a damn thing, until about an hour before, when he spotted the scientist walking into the warehouse he was currently in. His brown-green eyes narrowed, noting the exact places that there would likely be hidden weapons. There was nothing left to do but contact Skipper and let him know.

Flipping out a cell from his pocket, he dialed and before Skipper could even say hello, stated, "I've located him. Meet me in front of your large friend's diner in one hour." Shutting the phone after speaking, he knew that his frienemy would be there.

**90 Increments (Private is James Bond!AU)**

James Bond was learning about his CIA teammates in increments that made no sense. He'd found out that the tall one – Kowalski – was a scientist and an indecently good shot. Rico was the name of the larger one, the guy who could pull just about everything from seemingly nowhere and their captain/leader was called Skipper and that's all Bond could figure out. Why MI6 had him working with them, he wasn't sure.

But what he was sure of, was that the man they were after was bad. They'd found bits of people that had been gnawed on wherever they found evidence that this Savio had been. He'd quickly come to the conclusion that Savio was a cannibal and had mentioned as such to the three CIA agents.

"You're new at this, aren't you?" Skipper had asked, blank look in his eyes. Bond bit his lip and looked away.

"Skipper, he's practically a boy. I suspect that something is going on at MI6 and someone didn't want him involved." Kowalski was looking up from the map he was currently adding the latest site to, noting the strange placing of the different places that Savio had killed people. "What do you think of the placing? It's in five different areas around the state, but something seems...off."

The four crowded around the map, seeing the five marks in bright red, the newest mark still drying.

**91 Faith**

Italy was beautiful, but Nick couldn't afford to dally. Uncle Nigel was counting on him to bring back whatever was in this pack and it was important. He could hear people running down on the streets below, but the noise was dying down once the alarm bells stopped tolling.

Nick reached the edge of the rooftops and skidded to a stop. There was no one around in this part of the town, so he took a deep breath and leapt, trusting that nothing would happen. He twisted and landed on his back in a hay bale, a rare occurrence. Nick laughed hysterically, startling several birds.

One more successful Leap of Faith. It made the young man feel amazing.

**92 Demise (Continuation of Vein and Situating from the second set of ten.)**

It pained Rico to be fighting Kowalski, even if the scientist was brainwashed and crazy. It was the hurt and tears in Kowalski's eyes that caused Rico to throw a knockout punch and catch him as he crumpled, pulling him close.

The utter hate in Rico's eyes informed Blowhole of his impending demise. The rusted, dented crowbar only sealed the deal.

**93 Hiss**

Looking up, Skipper saw something out of the ordinary – Hans was standing in the doorway to his office, not staring at anything in particular. Knowing the rest of the team was out of the house and he wouldn't likely have this chance again, Skipper asked, "Hey, you okay?"

The resulting hiss wasn't what he expected at all. "Do I _look_ like I'm okay?"

"Don't yell at me," Skipper replied, pushing his chair out and standing. Something was _wrong_ with Hans. "Look, talk to me, will you?"

"Why should I?"

Hans' question honestly threw Skipper for a loop for a moment until he stated, "I'm worried is all."

"I'm fine." But Hans' movements betrayed his agitation. He was upset about something, and his obvious avoidance of Skipper's eyes only reinforced it.

"...Liar." When Hans flinched, Skipper knew it was coming to a close. He'd spill.

"Don't." Finally Hans met Skipper's eyes, and the pain in them told Skipper everything. He'd lost someone important, and this was likely the anniversary.

Smiling softly, Skipper said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." A simple sentence and gentle wiping away of a spilled tear opened the floodgates, and Hans clapped a hand over his face and the other over his stomach, tears spilling and hiccuping sobs leaving him. Skipper slid over and pulled him in close, wrapping Hans in his arms. "Shh, shh, it's okay. Cry it out. Don't worry, it's alright."

It wouldn't be until much later that Skipper found out that it had been ten years since Hans' first Interpol partner had died and he'd been assigned to deep-cover.

**94 Time (In line with Pain)**

In all honesty, Hans blamed himself for not making it in time. The guilt was what was keeping him awake at nights, and he could hear Private's nightmares as the boy was trying to sleep. He blamed himself for being unable to save an old enemy – no, he was no longer an enemy, but a friend – from dieing and having to mercy kill him mere feet from his only teammate left. Hans figured that it was a good thing that the boy was unconscious for that.

The small photo of himself along with Private's former team on the mantle only served to remind Hans of the good times gone.

**95 Foxier**

"In all honesty Skipper, wear these shoes instead," Kowalski said, handing the team leader a pair of heels. Private nodded enthusiastically and Skipper figured out who had handed the five-inch stilettos to the scientist. "Trust us in this, Skipper. They make it..."

"Foxier."

Rico's raspy voice startled the three others but Kowalski only smiled and said, "Thank you. That's exactly what I was looking for. Besides, they compliment you better than those kitten heels you wanted to wear."

Skipper promptly decided they had mutinied.

**96 Distract (Hans/Skipper implications)**

The day, Hans decided, was looking up. He was spending it with Skipper, who wasn't quite as rejecting of him as usual, and the warmth of the day was distracting. When the scientist in Skipper's team had stolen Skipper's phone and called him, he had mentioned something about a surprise party for Skipper's birthday and had asked him to take Skipper and keep him away from their home for a few hours.

Ducking into an alley, he pulled on Skipper's hand and decided that it was a perfect time to distract him from anything too worrying.

**97 Naïve (Well after Time and Pain)**

They were in New York. NYC to be exact. Private bit his lip as he strode down the familiar streets towards the home he had spent several years in with men who had become his family. Behind him trailed Hans Søpapegøjer, the man who had saved him and let him know what happened. He had taken Private in, much to the Brit's surprise.

It had been a little over a year since the rest of the team had died.

Stepping through the doorway, Private looked around. So much was the same but they were all gone. Private wasn't even in the US anymore, having spent most of the last year in Denmark. He stopped walking at a picture that Marlene had taken of the four of them. Biting his knuckle, Private plucked the frame from the wall.

"Was I really that naïve to think that we'd always be a team?" he asked quietly.

"No. It's a common thought." Hans' soft voice startled Private, who whirled around and bumped into the Dane. "I thought so too, until my partner was killed on a mission that went bad. He was the more experienced of the two of us, so I thought he'd be around for a long time. I was wrong."

"So, I... I guess I shouldn't feel so bad about that, should I?" Hans only smiled sadly and patted Private's head.

**98 Take**

"Hey guys, look at me!" Marlene said before taking a picture of the four with her camera. Skipper ended up putting a copy of it up on a wall in the front hall.

**99 Competition**

Yelling over his shoulder, Kowalski answered the door. Standing in front of him was a shy looking Arlene. Sighing, he allowed her to come inside. "Before you and Skipper go out on your date, I think you should know that I see right through you Marlene." She froze, not expecting that.

"How could you tell?" she whispered.

Smirking, Kowalski continued, "You forgot to let me know you were 'leaving.' You always let me know so I or Private can water your plants. You wouldn't just have some stranger waltz in without telling one of us, especially one who says she's your sister and calls you Marley. I know how much you hate being called Marley." Marlene sat lightly on the couch. "Now, I've something to tell you. Most of the reason Skipper's so interested in you right now is because he thinks you're new. Thing is, this time within the next couple of days you're going to have competition. An old friend of his is coming to town."

Marlene narrowed her eyes. "Who?"

Kowalski's smile was positively predatory. "I think you know." Marlene's scowl only made him happy. "Good luck. You'll need it."

**100 Bishop**

As far as Private can figure out, the chessboard set up on the coffee table isn't actually there for chess, so to speak. He's slowly come to realize that it's actually for communication, but damn if he can figure it out. There's something going on with the black knight and the white bishop but he can't decipher it. But he knows he's got to, so he can figure out where he fits in on the chessboard.

* * *

**Demise** is a continuation of **Situating** and **Vein  
****Naive** follows **Time** follows **Pain  
****Found **follows **Certify** follows **Burble**

General Notes:

81: Kowalski blew something up and the sprinkler system turned on, soaking him and his lab. He's now pissed beyond reason.  
82: No real notes.  
83: Has been creeping up on me and begging me to write it. I complied with the Muse.  
84: Buck Rockgut, you amuse me so. Inspired (And the first sentence stolen from) by the Red Squirrel episode.  
85: has been haunting my nightmares since before I wrote this. Also has a segment that has Hans helping Private recover after he finds out that Skipper died too. Actually, Hans mercy kills Skipper. God, I can't find a good way to write that particular scene without crying.  
86: I dunno what happened, I think Hans would make a pretty girl. Short hair that covers one eye. and she's pretty.  
87: Kowalski the Alchemist, blowing shit up in the dark ages. Rico, the part Gypsy combat mage. and Skipper the Knight with Private as his squire. I mean what's wrong with that?  
88: Inspired by this song: www. youtube. com/watch?v=mY0gIGMyOG8  
89: Everyone (on DA) seems to like Psycho!Kowalski as much as I do. So Hans gets to find him!  
90: Erica mentioned having more James Bond!AU. So I complied.  
91: I've been reading too many _Assassin's Creed _fan fictions. It may be the whole reason behind this one. That and needing to mention Uncle Nigel. Nick is younger!Private.  
92: Remember that Kico I colored from Shinju90's sketch dump? Yeah, this is the vignette for that. (The pic: musiclover1993. deviantart. com/art/Kico-from-Sketchdump-210074757  
93: I don't think I published (anywhere) the poem I wrote that inspired this whole thing. A large part of their dialog was taken from it and the whole idea around it was as well. Also, I thought Hans needed backstory.  
94: I can't write Skipper dieing. I really don't think I can do it. Thus, this was formed.  
95: The only real reason? So Kowalski could say "kitten heels" and Rico could say "Foxier." Mood whiplash indeed.  
96: Believe it or not, this was Skipper!Muse's fault. I blame him for this.  
97: This inspired the vignette. Still can't write Skipper's death.  
98: The photo previously mentioned. SO I suppose that the whole "Team dies" arc is now officially in the Moments!Verse, only several years from the general timeline.  
99: I heard about one of the unaired episodes. In it, (Spoilers) Marlene fell into some chlorinated H2O and bleached her fur. Apparently, Skipper is attracted. (unspoiler) So, my response? Kowalski sees through it and calls her on it. And her competition is Hans, who else?  
100: First - I can't believe I made it this far. I love you guys for the encouragement to write all of these. They've take up at least 20-something pages and a couple hundred Kb of memory - quite a bit more than usual. Second - I have no idea who is talking through the chessboard. Probably Skipper and Kowalski since I won't let them talk normal.

Please review? Especially if you've made it through the massive notes.

**Edit**: Damn Deviantart formating. I keep forgetting to check in the actual text for any extra formats I may have forgotten. Dammit.


	5. Fifth Quarter

Title: Moments  
Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar  
Characters: Titular Penguins, Hans the Puffin, Dr. Blowhole, mentions Manfredi and Johnson, Amarillo Kidd, Kitka, Doris the Dolphin, Mort, Jiggles, Miss Perky, Uncle Nigel (Finally), Maurice,  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?  
Rating: T/PG-13  
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, slash, violence, you will need tissues,  
Author's note: Still writing! Still up sooner on deviantArt if you want to read them sooner.  
I cried writing one of these. You'll know when you read it.

Also, the first time I published this chapter, for some reason it re did chapter 4. I'm sorry for any inconvenience this has caused.

* * *

**101 Confusing Battle Cries**

Mort's girly little cry of "I'll hurt you!" and little grunts as he pounded on Rico's stomach did nothing more than cause him to start laughing and fall over. It was absolutely precious and Kowalski had pictures to prove it.

**102 Bad Choices for Pets**

It was either Jiggles or that damn Beta, Private wasn't sure which was worse. Their respective owners were both nuts, which didn't help. But he really would rather not lose a finger. So the evil Beta fish it was then. Worst pet.

**103 What Models Say as They Pass on the Runway (Genderbend!AU)**

Kowalski was hating her mission. She really hated dressing up. And Skipper knew that. The whole fiasco with Jiggles was probably to blame for this.

The only thing that could make this worse is if the models actually started hating on her. It wasn't her fault their boss had instantly like her figure. She actually would rather he didn't like her.

The last straw had to have been when the worst of the models had made a comment about Rico while on the runway. The moment the woman had gotten back from out front, Kowalski had ripped her a new one and made her cry.

But it was unanimous that the best thing that had come out of her mouth was, "...if you don't like it, you can kiss my ass, you anorexic piece of trash."

**104 Caught in the Act**

Skipper woke to a slightly mad cackle and a camera flash. Blearily he opened his eyes. Kowalski was looking slightly smug, Private was holding the camera and Rico was cackling. Shutting his eyes, he flipped them all off and settled back into the couch to continue his nap with his eternal friend/enemy lying on him. It wasn't his idea to make the Dane cry himself to sleep.

**105 Not Your Girlfriend**

"Piss off, I'm not your girlfriend! I'm not even a girl!" Private was getting redder as he got angrier.

"Hey, easy. I'm sorry if something I said made you mad." Amarillo Kidd had a sheepish expression on his face and his hands in front of him trying to calm the special agent.

"I said _piss off_." And with that, Private spun on his heel and stormed away from the surprised Texan.

**106 Montana (Along with Silo, Prairie, and Solution)**

The whole damn state. It was huge. And they were getting nowhere. It was worse than Texas. Private's trip through Montana consisted of him huddling in a ball with a blanket over his head while he chanted, "Not gonna go nuts and kill everyone, not gonna go nuts and kill everyone."

**107 An Off Day**

An explosion in the lab.

Rico slicing up sushi wrong.

Skipper breaking his wrist in a fall.

And Private got trampled on by a couple of NFL rejects.

Something was a little off that day.

**108 Watch Out for Deer**

"Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot." Kowalski's flat exclamation drew a bit of response from the rest of the team.

"Kowalski," Skipper began, "how long have we been in Ohio?"

"...Not even five minutes?" Rico snorted, Private laughed and Skipper scowled and put his head in his hands. He figured that it should have taken them about four hours to cross the state.

Now it would take much, much longer if they kept hitting deer.

**109 Eenie, Meany, Miny, Moe**

_SPLASH!_

Something sticky, gooey, and gross hit Private and covered him. Stepping back, Rico asked, "You 'kay?"

Private was sopping wet and dripping onto the floor. "Whose idea was it to use 'Eenie, Meany, Miny, Moe' to choose what weapon we're using?"

**110 Little Known but Amazing Facts**

Rico and Kowalski have Skipper beat on being able to get out of restraints.

Private was supposed to go to MI6 but didn't.

Skipper was in the system – orphaned. (Not amazing, but interesting)

Rico was used as a test subject and didn't totally lose his mind.

The scientist actually was not Blowhole.

The crazy is absolutely normal.

The fish, Ms. Perky, will eat your fingers.

Kowalski was the only one to be in the actual military.

Some of the crazy shit that they say happened to Manfredi and Johnson really happened.

**111 Drop**

The team will never let Kowalski live down the time the doctor accidentally gave him the wrong dosage for painkillers. It had been dropped to a little less than half of what it was supposed to be and the results were more than amusing. Kowalski had been mortified and demanded that they never speak of it again.

**112 Kid**

Nigel Flynn was pacing in his living room, a two-year-old sleeping on his two-seater. Why his best friend had decided to have him keep his boy in case of emergencies was beyond him. And now that he'd died, the boy was going to stay with him forever, potentially.

Aaron _knew_ he was bad with kids, why'd he have to die and leave him one?

**113 Lunch**

He'd agreed to meet her. Of course he'd only agreed so he could let her down. So he could let her know. Pacing outside the diner they'd agreed to meet at, Kowalski checked his watch. He was early, so he knew that she would be right on time, momentarily.

He'd decided to wait until lunch was nearly over to tell Doris. Her response was exactly as bad as what he was expecting. She'd looked at him with a look akin to horror and then her face scrunched and she said as she slapped him, "I should have known, you freak!"

Doris had left in hysterics. Kowalski was still slightly stunned, his face and head turned from the ferocity of her slap.

"Well. That could have gone worse."

**114 Sight (YOU WILL NEED TISSUES FOR THIS ONE!) **

He'd seen Kowalski lying on the ground, spotted Rico go up in flames, and finally spied Skipper fall to the ground a mere ten meters from him. Hans moved quickly, dodging bullets to get to the fallen man. Skidding to a stop, he dropped to his knees.

Hans was going to say something to the effect of "You'll be fine," but as soon as he saw the amount of blood flowing from Skipper and exactly where his wounds were. Instead, he opted to say, "You're not fine."

"No shit. 'm dyin'. Clipped me in the stomach, least one artery. 've bled a lot." Skipper closed his eyes and took a shuddery breath and Hans's heart nearly stopped beating. "Don't wanna die from blood loss. It'd be agonizin'."

Hans bit the inside of his lip, debating. "Mercy shot?" He didn't want to, but knew he likely would have to.

"Yeah. Better than bleedin'. One las' thin' though. Get Priva'e outta here. Needs ta live, tha' kid." Skipper's words were slurring, accent he never normally had standing out clear.

"Alright. I'm sorry." Hans pulled out a small handgun, and amidst the sounds of the battle, the screams and cries, he swore he heard Skipper forgive him, just before pulling the trigger.

Standing again, he sighted Private, sitting up against a car on its side, knocked out with what appeared (from a distance) to be a large knot on his head. "C'mon kid, let's get you out of here."

**115 Sound**

Private sat in Central Park, far from the sounds of the city. It was peaceful, that bench, and he needed to get away from the crazy Texan who was stalking him. He was relaxed until he heard his name being called in that damnable accent.

Silently swearing, he quickly jumped up and was starting to leave his bench when he heard, "There ya are. Thought I lost ya." The Texan's damn smile showed back up, even as Private scowled and started once again, to walk away. "Hey, wait up!"

**116 Touch (Rico/Kowalski)**

Exhaustion spilled into every limb as Kowalski dropped heavily into his chair, head falling into his arms. Mere moments later, skilled hands were placed on his shoulders, talented fingers digging in and massaging. Humming lightly, he leaned into the touch, shifting to place the hands exactly where they needed to be.

"Workin' hard, not sleepin' well. Need ta _rest,_ 'Walski." Rico's voice soothed, wrapped around Kowalski. Unable to come up with a better response, Kowalski just arched into Rico's hands more, letting the weapons master masterfully work out the knots. "I c'n think of a few things to relax ya," Rico said, the tone sending a jolt right through Kowalski.

Lifting his head, he stated, "I may have to take you up on that offer, if you're willing."

And Rico only chuckled.

**117 Taste**

Blinking, Nick shook his head to clear it and spit to get the metallic taste of blood out of his mouth. Why Uncle Nigel had to pick this particular method to train him up for some bloody test, Nick didn't know. All his uncle had to say was that it was important, that it was something his dad had once wanted him to do.

It still didn't help when he had bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood and he wasn't halfway done.

**118 Smell**

When the first hints of charcoal wafted to Julien's nose, he nearly screeched. He stepped back a little, to wait and see if there would be any nasty fishy-smell.

There wasn't.

"What is this preposterousness! Why is there not a disgusting fishy-smell! Maurice!" Julien shouted. "Find out why there is no fishy-smell and then tell me."

Nearly ten minutes later, Maurice walked back with a plate stacked with grilled corn on the cob. "Apparently, there was a special on ears of corn and Kowalski went shopping. He made too much and he's just giving it away! Want some?"

And Julien reluctantly took an ear of corn, shucked it, and took a bite. "What is this deliciousness?"

Kowalski heard Julien's cry of amazed delight and chuckled, muttering to himself, "That would be grilled corn, my African neighbor."

**119 Boy**

"At least it's not something worse, sir," Kowalski said. By some miracle, Skipper had only been reduced to about the age of five instead of worse things.

"How could this be worse? I'm a five year old boy!" Skipper cried, lip quivering and big blue eyes watering. He looked adorable and Kowalski had to fight the urge to coo and act like an idiot at him.

"The others could be here...Hans could see you." Kowalski felt bad about saying that, but he'd get over it. "All I have to do is reverse the polarity and poof! You're back to normal. It'll take about twenty minutes assuming nothing goes wrong like it inevitably does."

In the end, it took nearly two hours for Kowalski to reverse the polarity as there was a small explosion that caused him to become a five year old as well. He managed to turn himself and skipper back to normal moments before Rico and Private got back from getting groceries.

**120 Eat (Bond!AU)**

How those three managed to convince him to be bait, Bond didn't quite know. He certainly didn't remember agreeing to it. It had to have been Skipper. But then again, Kowalski did have on that creepy smile that he got whenever he'd had a brilliant idea.

However, it didn't explain how he ended up where he was just then.

A person spoke, breaking Bond's concentration. "Welcome to my humble abode." His voice was clear, smooth, and it honestly scared Bond. "I've been wanting to meet the person who's been following me. I must say that I wasn't expecting someone so young." The way Savio spoke and smiled sent involuntary shivers down Bond's spine. He really hoped the locator Kowalski had stitched into the lining of his pants worked and that the CIA agents knew where he was.

He really didn't want to be eaten.

**121 Name (Genderbend!AU, One-sided Young!Blowhole/Young!Fem!Kowalski)**

"Thomas!" Looking up when his name was called, Thomas Phinn looked up and saw Danielle Kowalski smiling at him. He had to admit, she was very pretty. Her slim hands tugged at his, pulling him away from his work before stepping around him to grasp the handles of his wheelchair. "You are coming with me for coffee, and possibly to the planetarium afterward. Got it?" she stated rather than asked. He enjoyed how she treated him like any other person despite his wheelchair.

And he loved her for it. But she didn't love him the way he loved her, Thomas knew. He was her best friend, her confidant, but not her love. That was reserved for someone else, and he wasn't them. He could never quite capture her heart the way she had his.

**122 Shakespeare**

"To be, or not to be, that is the question," Private muttered. "What's the next bloody line?"

"'Whether 'tis nobler the mind to suffer/the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune/Or to take arms against a sea of troubles/and by opposing end them? To die, to sleep/No more, and by a sleep to say we end/the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks/that flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation/devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep–/To sleep, perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub.' And you need to be more convicted in your waffling." Kowalski startled Private, making him drop the packet of papers he was holding.

"Kowalski, you know Shakespeare?"

"Played Horatio once." Kowalski shrugged. "Had to help our Hamlet learn his lines."

"Can you help me?" Private's desperation was apparent.

Chuckling, Kowalski answered, "Sure."

**123 Pot**

_Today is going to be... interesting,_ Private thought, watching Kowalski pour himself a new cup of coffee, scowling when the pot emptied before his mug was full. Private noticed that Skipper was scowling as well, but that could be because the sardine in his mug wasn't totally dead yet and kept flopping. Every time Skipper went to take a sip, the fish flipped him in the face. Private was certain he had a dorky grin on his face, but it was far too amusing.

**124 Deaf**

Rico hated sonic grenades. He'd been close enough to the last one to be temporarily deaf for several days. The freakiest part of the whole thing wasn't not being able to hear – it was how Kowalski communicated with him. He could still speak, but instead of listening to Kowalski's reply, the older man had placed Rico's fingers against his lips in a bizarre form of lip-reading. It was sweet and intense all at once, and more than once left Rico as a puddle of goo in Kowalski's hands.

**125 Temporary**

Fact: Rico was deaf. Bad.

Fact: It was only temporary. Good.

Fact: It scared Kowalski like no other.

* * *

Review please! (that's all I'll say.)

Additional Notes (Ridiculously long)

101: Full title – Confusing Battle Cries. One of them really was "i'll hurt you!" in a girly voice.  
102: Full Title – Bad Choices for pets. I should have gone with the velociraptor.  
103: Full title – What Models say to each other as they Pass on the Runway. Girl!Kowalski's pissed. I don't know what that model said, but it wasn't pretty.  
104: Full title – The World's Dumbest Criminals being Caught in the Act. Poor Hans was exhausted.  
105: Full Title – Things you can say to your dog, but not your girlfriend. Kidd probably said something not nice.  
106: Actual title – Rejected License Plates. I figured Montana would freak Private out.  
107: Full title – What God Created on An Off Day.  
108: Actual title – Rejected sayings for State Welcome Signs. Greg Proops did Ohio and said, "welcome to Ohio, watch out for d-oof!" I thought he was saying "Drew" but I changed it to deer. Since we have a lot.  
109: Full Title – Bad Times to Use "Eenie, Meany, Miney, Moe." Choosing a weapon seemed appropriate, considering they keep doing digs at former Pres. Bush.  
110: Full Title – Little Known but Amazing Facts About Drew Carey. Fun things about the Team.  
111: I believe that Kowalski needs a ridiculously high dosage to actually work. Otherwise strange things will happen.  
112: Poor Nigel. Now he's got to take care of Private. Awww. Note: a two-seater is apparently the British/English equivalent of a loveseat. People from Britain (Specifically England) please let me know if this is wrong.  
113: So. This has been coming for a while. I've been meaning to bring Doris in at some point. And now she's gone. Never gonna see her again.  
114: I cried writing this. Part of the reason this chapter took so long was because of this one. Sorry guys, especially if I made you cry too. How Skipper talks is based on how I talk.  
115: Wrote so I could get away from the emotional hole that was 114.  
116: Needed some fluffy goodness. Though the muses stopped me before anything went stellar. Damn muses.  
117: Kid!Private is always fun. Even when he's training to be a spy.  
118: I want grilled corn on the cob, okay? And Julien's speaking patterns are way too fun to write.  
119: Because of the episode where Skipper is turned into a baby. It was adorable. (Episode is "Rock-a-Bye Birdie")  
120: The world needs more Bond!Private. That is all.  
121: Days. This is the reason it's been taking so long. My stupid subconscious wants Fem!Kowalski to have known Blowhole before he became Blowhole. I don't even know.  
122: I totally had my copy of _Hamlet_ out when I was writing this. The parts they quote are directly from the play.  
123: Part of the _Coffeepot Chronicles_. I am under the firm belief that they don't have one, but TWO coffeemakers. One is Skipper's. The other's Kowalski's. And Kowalski has a  
much more caffeinated brew.  
124 & 125: Stole the idea of being temporarily deafened from a _Daredevil fanfic that was amazing._


	6. Sixth Quarter

Title: Moments  
Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar, Dr. McNinja, Marvel Universe (X-Men, Spiderman, Ironman)  
Mentions: Warehouse 13, Mortal Kombat, Monty Python  
Characters/Pairings: Titular Penguins, Hans the Puffin, Dr. Blowhole , several mentioning Manfredi and Johnson, Bobby Drake (Iceman), Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Various R&D Scientists, Norwegians, Fem!King Julien (Queen Juliet)  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?  
Rating: T/PG-13  
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, **dark in spots **(especially 144), violence, threats, slash,  
Author's note: X-Overs Aplenty. I have given them the names I think I'm already using. They're mostly for the Marvel!Verse ones. Also, "My Car!" is infamous enough in its own right. I think it deserves at least one mention here, don't you? As well: I may or may not have gotten the collective details of a blood feud wrong. If anybody thinks it's wrong, let me know and I'll make the correct changes.  
And we've made it to 150! I may have inspired some others to take up writing prompt based stories as well. Enjoy! 145 is SLASY! You find out who it is at the end. Be calm.

* * *

**126 Soft (Genderbent!AU)**

"No..." Kowalski's voice was soft, hesitant. She couldn't believe that the man sitting in the specially designed wheelchair in front of here was her old friend. They barely looked similar, and had little in common. "You can't be Thomas. You can't be. He died."

"No my dear, I did not. It was close though." Blowhole moved his chair closer. He stroked her cheek with one hand, but she jerked her face away. Somewhere off in another part of the room, Blowhole could hear his enemy's resident psychopath growling inarticulately. "I barely survived. But I did. And then I went to Denmark."

The woman's stunned gasp made Blowhole smirk. He was willing to let her infer as to what he was speaking of.

**127 Coffee**

"Oh, he didn't." Let it be known that Kowalski can be very vindictive when his caffeine fix is messed with.

Patiently he replaced all of Skipper's pathetic brew with a mix much stronger.

War over coffee. What would they think of next?

**128 Woman**

Skipper was out jogging when he ran in to someone. Well, actually, she ran him over. The woman was incredibly apologetic as she lifted Skipper to his feet. She was taller than him, probably as tall as Rico, but not as tall as Kowalski.

She introduced herself as Kitka, and she was on a run herself. After talking for a short while, Skipper learned that she was a kickboxing instructor, she was a former Air Force Pilot and that she owned a little school where she worked in Manhattan.

Skipper promised himself that he'd go and check out her class some time.

**129 Ax (Fantasy!AU)**

"I'm blaming you for this!" Kowalski yelled, swinging his small ax around and slicing the hand off a bandit.

"What do you mean, you're blaming me? How is being attacked by bandits my fault?" Sir Skipper yelled back, his sword taking the head off of another.

"You're a bloody knight! They like attacking knights! They don't like attacking ALCHEMISTS! PISS OFF ALREADY DAMNIT!" Kowalski yelled, throwing a powder into another bandit's face, which hissed and bubbled on the screaming man. "Finally got that powder right." Rico motioned at him. "Yes. I know I'm an angry person. It's an alchemist's job. And there's one to your left that's still moving on his own legs. Take care of him."

Sir Skipper watched the exchange with something akin to amusement, taking down his own bandits. He wondered when that mistrusting alchemist would trust him like he did the mage.

**130 Bean**

"Tell me your dark, beany secrets."

"SKIPPER!" Kowalski yelled. "I don't _care_ if you're my commanding officer, you are going to take this melatonin and _go to sleep_." Roughly, Kowalski grabbed Skipper and pulled him away from the coffeepot. He definitely needed sleep if he was interrogating his own coffeemaker.

**131 Mortal (Dr. McNinja)**

"Shit!" Skipper yelled, swerving the car to avoid the bomb thrown at them. Less than five miles from Cumberland and they were already being ambushed. Kowalski mumbled something resembling 'ow' and Rico threw a bomb of his own out into the woods.

As the sweet tones of someone screaming "My CAR!" shot through the air, Private asked, "How far are we from Cumberland?"

Skipper glanced back at the sign they had just passed and said, "Five miles."

Kowalski rubbed at his face. "Gotta remember this place works like_ Mortal Kombat_. And the doctor is a ninja. But I think something happened and his office blew up. Again." Kowalski continued mumbling to himself and walked down the road towards Cumberland. The other three shared a look and Rico shrugged and followed Kowalski.

In about five minutes they were attacked by more ninjas. Those poor ninjas.

**132 Ice (Marvel – X-Men)**

_Gotta back up Bobby, _Nick Private thought, backing up slowly. He shifted his hand, swiping at a robot with the razor sharp claws of a tiger. _Got him_. "Iceman, go!" he yelled, striking another robot with deadly accuracy. Private gave Bobby a boost, launching the other mutant over the crowd of robots. _I hope I can keep shifting, _he thought. _Would be bad if I couldn't keep up with them. Damn ability._ Dodging a punch thrown his way, Private retaliated with one of his own, his small size making the robots underestimate him.

Bobby made his way back to Private, giving the younger mutant a short chance to catch his breath. "Alright. We go on three. One. Three!" Bobby yelled, diving back into the fray. Private grinned and took down two of his own robots.

This Danger Room session was different, but nice.

**133 First (Marvel – Spiderman)**

"Kid, you wanna be careful 'round fires." Peter Parker looked up and saw a fireman smiling at him. "They'll burn ya if you're not."

"I'll be okay," Peter replied. "You're the first fireman to talk to me. Anything you want to say about the fire?"

The fireman shook his head at Peter's enthusiasm. "Sure kid. Officially, we don't know what caused the fire, but we suspect old wiring shorted out and ignited the insulation."

"Thanks. That's all I really need. Thank you again."

The fireman smiled at him again and held out his hand. "My name is Richard Gibson. Yours?"

Peter took Richard's hand and firmly shook it. "Peter Parker. Thanks again for letting me know what you think happened."

"Anytime kid. Anytime."

**134 Orange (Marvel – Ironman)**

Tony Stark was not the most pleased person in Stark Industries one particular early afternoon. The day had gone badly right from the start. Horrible meetings, lunch turned out to be a disaster, and he had a fight with Pepper, amongst other things. The least he could do was vent to the R&D department, they liked him.

Traveling to the level with all of the scientists, he tapped his foot impatiently. Hopefully they would have something good for him.

Stepping out of the elevator, he was instantly dismayed by the general chatter that mostly drowned out the sound of a television showing a season one episode of _Warehouse 13_.

"What's going on?" he asked, staring out at the group.

A small gang looked up at him. One spoke. "Afternoon, Mr. Stark," he said. "We're planning out some new mechanics. Damian has some prints on his desk." He pointed Tony in the right direction.

Damian's desk was covered in blueprints, sketches and parts in various states of disarray. In one corner, there was a small stack of blueprints with what appeared to be an orange paperweight of some kind on top. Damian was muttering to himself, roughly shaping out a scale model of a nanobot from clay. Tony watched for several minutes, staring down at the scientist who was as meticulous about it as he was. After what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a handful of minutes, Tony cleared his throat. Damian started, pulling off an appendage and swearing creatively. Jerking his head up, he scowled, not realizing it was his boss until a second later.

"Are you really going to 'boil my bottom' and did you seriously call me the 'son of a silly person'? Because either you need sleep or you shouldn't watch so much _Monty Python_," Tony stated, chuckling.

"Sir. It's s'posed to be a nanobot. And for medical procedures, no less." Damian waved the offending appendage in the air, shrugging lightly. "I have some prints under the orange vial, if you want to look at them."

As Tony picked up the vial, he noticed that it had some kind of liquid in it. Wondering what it was, he silently asked with a single eyebrow movement.

Damian actually looked sheepish. "Allergy meds. Grew up in Chicago. Been here going on four years and still can't get over the crazy weather."

"It's...orange." Orange was a bit of an understatement. It was practically neon in color.

"It is. May I have it back, please?"

Tony handed Damian the vial, saying, "Back to work, Mr. Kowalski."

"Of course Mr. Stark."

**135 Nuts (Genderbend!AU)**

"I'll tell you what you've done! Gone nutso!" Juliet's voice was absurdly condescending, even for her.

"How do I fix this?" Kowalski bit her lip, considering their options. "I know!" She gagged, trying to throw up into the giant green cube.

"What are you doing?" Juliet was shocked.

"Jiggles hates fish – we had sushi for lunch!" The older woman continued to gag, stopping when she realized she wasn't going to vomit. "It's no use – I can't upchuck like Rico. But maybe..." She trailed off, but Juliet understood perfectly.

"I am not sticking my hand in your mouth."

"Come on, my gag reflex will kick in before you actually have to reach very far. Just do it."

Juliet had an exasperated look on her face, but placed her hand in Kowalski's mouth anyway. "This is the second-most disgusting thing I have ever done," she said, fingers hitting the back of the older woman's mouth just right to make her throw up.

"Thank you," she replied shakily, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Jiggles ejected them from inside of it's cubic form. "Well... that happened."

"I will not talk about it if you don't."

"Deal."

**136 Blood (Marvel)**

"You want to know why they call it a blood feud?" the man in the center asked. His dark blue eyes flicked around the room at the mercenaries surrounding him. "Because the people participating swear to kill every single one of his or her enemies, plus every single one of their loved ones – old, young, men, women, and children. Now, since most of you don't exactly have loved ones, I can't do anything about that. But what I can do is threaten the most precious thing of all. Your bank accounts."

The very air stilled as the half dozen mercenaries considered his point.

"Now. Would any one like to tell me what I want to know?"

"The Kitchen. He's in Hell's Kitchen."

"Thank you." Stepping out, the man breathed a sigh of relief. "The bastard's in the Kitchen. Got it Skipper?"

"Kowalski, you have guts. And thank you," Skipper replied. "I think the one in the black and red mask wanted to kill you."

"Let him get in line."

**137 Strep**

Private slid out of bed that morning with a sore throat. It hurt to swallow and not even ice cold water was helping the burning feeling. He sat at the kitchen table with his head in his arms, not moving once when Rico walked over and placed his hand on the back of Private's neck. The much larger man gently eased Private's head up, and put his palm on Private's forehead. Easing Private back down, he pulled a half-asleep Kowalski over with a quiet murmur. "Open up and say 'ah'," Kowalski said, tipping Private's head back and pulling out a pen-sized LED flashlight. "Ew. Right. Well, make an appointment with the doctor, that looks nasty."

The doctor ended up confirming Kowalski's half-asleep suspicions – Private had strep throat, which was something that could be cured with antibiotics and rest.

**138 Odd**

"That's odd..." Private said, tilting his head to one side to try and understand the oddity.

"You're in Japan. The oddness is normal here," Kowalski replied, stabbing at a piece of sushi with a chopstick and sticking it in his mouth.

"IS it Kowalski? Is it really?" Skipper asked, warily poking a mussel.

"Just like Skipper's paranoia, odd is normal," Kowalski stated evenly, eating more sushi.

**139 Norway**

"You don't have a problem with Norwegians, do you Skippah?" Private asked.

"No. I'm ambivalent to those fjord loving people," Skipper replied, glowering at the ship in a bottle in his hand.

"Good, because Kowalski just received intel that says we've got to go there. Something big is going on."

**140 Night**

It should have been a dark and stormy night. That's how things should go, in all honesty. But it appeared God was off in some other place giving someone else bad news with the perfect setting. The day was bright and sunny, with perfect temperatures and a light breeze.

It wasn't the sort of day that one should find out that half of their team was killed and the only other surviving member was an unstable wreck.

**141 Denmark**

"Skippah, why _can't_ you go to Denmark?" Private asked as he and Skipper watched Hans walk away.

"That's between me, Hans, and the Danes," Skipper replied.

After leaving Skipper alone, Private went and asked Kowalski. The older scientist sighed. "You know how we say all kinds of strange things happened to Manfredi and Johnson?"

"Yes, but what do they have to do with Skippah not being allowed in Denmark?"

"We never found out what happened to Johnson, but I suspect something horrifying. As for Manfredi... I think he threw himself in front of Skipper to prevent him from getting killed. And it traumatized Skipper." Private's baby blue eyes went wide. "I wasn't there myself – I was still recovering from knee surgery. But that's the only thing I can think of that would make Skipper act like that. And I know they were working with Hans at the time. But I don't know all that much. Hans won't talk about it and Skipper can't." Kowalski was sad, and Private sat down beside him. "Manfredi was basically our big brother, despite him being our leader. He was an amazing person."

"He sounds like it." Private was sincere. "What can you tell me about him?"

"You really want to know?" Private enthusiastically nodded his head. "Well alright. This one time..."

**142 Way**

"No way."

"Way. Congratulations, you're about to be the proud owner of a giant beating stick that has a blade."

"_Thank you."_

"Not a problem."

**143 Movie**

Sunday night was movie night, the one night everyone sat down and relaxed. This particular Sunday was Private's turn to pick the movie.

"_The Fox and the Hound_? Really?" Skipper asked, placing the VHS tape into a VCR Kowalski had unearthed from the bowls of his lab.

"Yes, really. It's a good movie and it's been a while since I've seen it. I thought it would be a good choice," Private answered.

"Well then. Pass the popcorn."

Part way through the movie, Private heard a soft sniffling noise. When he looked away from the TV screen, he looked at the others. Kowalski was actually watching the movie, Rico was half-asleep on Kowalski's shoulder, and Skipper...Skipper was crying. Not very loud, as neither Kowalski nor Rico could hear him, but since Private was closer, he could. Private smiled to himself, secretly glad that he had chosen the movie he had.

**144 ****Fear**

Fear kept them in check. It was what had Kowalski working hard to get communications back up as soon as possible. He may have been confined to a hotel room on his own in the middle of Copenhagen, but he'd be damned before he failed them.

Managing to get communications back online, Kowalski heard something that horrified him – Skipper yelling Manfredi's name, an agonized scream potentially from Johnson, and a pained grunt that could only have come from Manfredi himself. Kowalski let out a horrified gasp and tried in vain to triangulate exactly where they were, nearly screaming in frustration as he got error message after error message, being forced to hear Blowhole berate Skipper, i_something/i_ happen to Johnson, and the last pained gasps of Manfredi.

And he was afraid of what might have happened had he not been injured and had been there as well.

**145 Straddle**

"Why?" Skipper asked, staring straight up into the eyes of the person who could either be his greatest enemy or his greatest ally.

"Why what?" they asked, leaning forward a little, straddling Skipper fully.

"Why do you keep coming back? I know you've got better things to do."

"And yet here I am. Have you ever considered that I might find you more interesting than the things I'm supposed to be doing?" they countered, touching foreheads with Skipper.

"You're going to be the death of me some day," Skipper said, closing his eyes.

"That's debatable, considering your job." They relaxed fully, completely lying on top of Skipper.

"Don't remind me. But yours is just as dangerous. If not more so."

"It's alright. I know what I'm doing."

"I hope you do Hans. I hope you do."

**146 Accident**

He'd almost accidentally let it slip. Uncle Nigel thought Private was working for MI6 – reasonable, considering the training he now realizes he went through – that he wasn't a nancy cat and it was an act. Skipper thought Private really was a nancy cat and that he didn't work for MI6 but their UN sanctioned team.

They were mostly right.

**147 Braid**

"Rico, you've got braided rope, right?" Kowalski asked. Rico just sent him a Look. "Of course you do. You have everything in that stomach of yours. That was a stupid question."

**148 Model **(Genderbend!AU)

"I hate you," Kowalski growled, smoothing her skirt and standing straighter.

"I'm sorry, you're the only one who can infiltrate this particular agency. Now smile, you're prettier when you smile," Skipper replied, handing her a file folder. "Kowalski, you're a beautiful woman. Knock 'em dead."

"Rather do it literally," she stated but smiled anyway. "I guess I've got to play nice with the other ladies, now don't I?"

Rico tapped her on the shoulder. "You look amazing."

"Kowalski, your figure is perfect for a woman your height," Private said. "What? It's true! She's really pretty."

"You're adorable Private. Alright. I'm going in."

"Good luck," Rico said.

"Thanks. I'm going to need it." With a determined step, Kowalski strode into the modeling agency.

**149 Stereo**

"Whoa... stereo," Private said after getting simultaneous and resounding "no's" from both Skipper and Kowalski. He'd asked a seemingly innocent question and received an unexpected denial. The force of their collective "no" startled him slightly. "Chill. I'm not that crazy. I won't bungee jump off Brooklyn Bridge." Once they left he muttered under his breath, "I'll jump off London Bridge instead, next time we're in England."

**150 Cat**

"They love Max," Roger said to Private. "He's a nice young gentleman, and the ladies who frequent my diner after musicals tip him really well. These are actresses who are hard to impress, as well."

"That's brilliant, Roger," Private responded.

"And he may have taken in a stray cat. I always end up with a little less fish than I order, but then again, I am ordering extra, since I suspect that's where it's going," Roger continued. "He really is a good boy."

* * *

If You've made it this far, please review!

Notes:

126: They've fought Blowhole before, but never has he called Fem!Kowalski by her name. This time, he has. And it's not good. Skipper and Private are desperately trying to find them.  
127: _Coffeepot Chronicles_. So. Skipper did something to Kowalski's brew. Therefore, the war is on.  
128: Kitka's roughly Rico's height. He's right about 6 feet tall. Kowalski is 6'6". Skipper is around 5'9". Private is roughly 5'6" - 5'7". He's kinda short. For a guy. (He's interested because she mildly reminds him of Hans. Shhhhh)  
129: This was too fun to write. I bet if Kowalski was an alchemist he'd be grouchy all the time. Poor Gypsy!Rico. Actually, that's a happy thought. Gypsy!Rico anybody?  
130: "Operation: Break-Speare" (I think is the title) Inspired this. Skipper needs sleep. Part of the _Coffeepot Chronicles.  
_131: _Dr. McNinja._ What can I say about a webcomic that is basically the Rule of Cool personified? The description Kowalski says that it "works like a _Mortal Kombat_ stage" is one that I've actually seen describing the world that Doc lives in. www. drmcninja. com  
132: Because I'm very excited about _X-Men: First Class,_ despite not having seen it yet. So Private gets to live in the house, learning to control his gift – shapeshifting. And I like Bobby.  
133: Three words: Rico the Firefighter. Do we need anything else? Seriously?  
134: Excessive amounts of _Ironman_ caused this. So. Kowalski started working there because he needed a job that wasn't threatening his life every other day. Go figure. I was going to work in a _Eureka_ reference, but it didn't work. I was also going to work in a _Star Trek_ ref, but that didn't work out either. The vial doesn't actually contain any allergy meds. Also, I would love to work in that R&D department.  
135: Jiggles episode. I re-watched that particular sequence so I could get the references right. This mostly happened because I kept wanting to write: "You've gone Nutso!" Also, Fem!Julien=Juliet. Totally obvious.  
136: This Kowalski is the same as the one in134. Something happened and it pissed him off. In a way, Skipper works for/with Nick Fury (Totally not mentioned at all. Not yet.) and they needed someone to go into a building filled with mercenaries and not get killed and for some strange reason, it doesn't bother Kowalski a bit. I figure it's cause he was in Chicago when it was real bad. Also: The guy with the red & black mask is supposed to be Deadpool, but since nothing happened, I don't really know.  
137: Poor Private. A sore throat is one thing, but strep sucks. I actually had some of the same symptoms once, and apparently my throat looked nasty. I had no fever and it wasn't strep. But it was close enough that my doctor gave me antibiotics anyway.  
138: I formally apologize to anybody from Japan who reads this particular prompt, as well as anyone who's offended on their behalf. I've been hanging out on Cracked's website because my creative muse died for a little bit last week (it's back) and Japan is now officially a strange place to be if you live in the Moments!Verse.  
139: I hope I got that quote from "Herring Impaired" right (or close enough) because I went off memory.  
140: Kowalski doesn't take Manfredi & Johnson's deaths very well. Poor guy. And Skipper. Oh my god, he's traumatized.  
141: Those poor guys... And Kowalski's not telling Private everything...  
142: Kowalski. You make the bestest weapons ever!  
143: Because even if you're manly, there will be movies where you cry. Every single time I watch _The Fox and the Hound__, _once the movie gets to the part where Todd the fox is being released out into the wild, I start crying like a baby. I haven't seen it in years and I was telling a friend why I cry and I started crying – just talking about it. It impacts me.  
144: And this is what Kowalski didn't tell Private. I think he was just as traumatized for a while there.  
145: Slash? Only if you read the last line. But I like slash, so I just put it in there after being ambiguous.  
146: What Private really is & what they got wrong/right: Nobody knows. Only Private does.  
147: Rico has everything in his stomach. You don't even have to make sure. Just ask for it.  
148: Comes before **What Models Say as they Pass on the Runway**. Kowalski needs a confidence boost. Poor lady.  
149: And there's the not-a-Nancy-Cat Private we all believe is hiding underneath that Nancy Cat exterior. Daredevil Private.  
150: I missed Roger and Max. So They came back!

Crazy amounts of Notes for this chapter, huh guys?


	7. Seventh Quarter

Title: Moments  
Characters/Pairings: Skipper, Hans, Kowalski, Private, Dr. Blowhole, Rico, King Julien (& Queen Juliet), mentions Manfredi & Johnson, JJ, Hans/Skipper, Kico  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay? I've decided to stop after 200.  
Rating: T/PG-13  
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, slash, 170 has blatant Slash, Genderbend, Bond, Fantasy AU, Oblivious!Private,  
Author's note: Sometimes I need a reminder that Hans can be a bit of a... well, I suppose bastard is a good way to put it. He deliberately enjoys tormenting Skipper. And Kowalski, but it's not the same.  
AN #2: Uh... same reminder about Blowhole, honestly... I don't know what happened.  
Author's note 3: I'm trying not to retcon my own work. If I do, it's an accident and I'll try to fix it as soon as possible.  
Author's note 4: So, I've been working on these off and on for most of the past couple of months. I'm kinda sorry it took so long for the next chapter to come out. College is apparently trying to kill me.

* * *

**151 Cold**

"That clapping. I know that icy cold clapping," Skipper said. He whirled around as Kowalski tossed a dart in the direction of the clapping. "Hans Søpapegøjer."

The Dane dodged the dart and stepped forward, saying, "Skipper. How pleasant it is to see you. I hope you don't mind me intruding."

"Hans." Kowalski's voice was quiet, but it cut like a knife.

"Ah yes. The gunman scientist with the shredded knee. How is your injury?" Kowalski scowled and pulled another dart from the tree embedded with them. "Just fine then."

"Hans, what are you after?" Skipper asked, darting forward.

"What? I can't stop by and say hello to an old friend?'

"Not when you got me banned from Denmark."

"_You're_ the reason Skippah can't go to Denmark?" Private gasped, blue eyes going wide.

**152 Assume**

"Don't assume things, Skipper," Blowhole said, getting right up in Skipper's face. "It makes an ass out of you and me. Well, mostly you." Smirking evilly, Blowhole wheeled away toward his lab. "Your scientist is an emotional wreck, the weapons expert is unconscious, and your little British friend is unable to move. You have no backup." He turned back when Skipper spoke.

"You shouldn't assume things Blowhole," Skipper growled. "I've got one last ace up my sleeve."

"Oh really? Are Manfredi and Johnson really alive and able to back you up?" At Skipper's flinch of pain, Blowhole laughed. "I thought not." Blowhole cackled and wheeled back to the lab.

"Come on," Skipper murmured, "Where _are_ you? I need help here."

**153 Scientist**

"Kowalski. I know you're a scientist and everything but why did you turn us into children?" Skipper asked. He was breathing evenly, trying not to lose his cool. His shirt was falling off him, and he didn't even bother with trying to pull up his pants from around his ankles. "It was bad enough the first time."

"I miscalculated the vectors relating to the power outage. I wasn't expecting that big of a... jump," Kowalski replied, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "I just hope it was only the two of us affected."

"Skippah!" Private called. He'd been de-aged as well, but not nearly as far as Skipper and Kowalski. He appeared about fifteen or sixteen whereas the other two where once again five years old. "What happened? You two are so... cute!"

Skipper scowled at the phrase but Kowalski played it up. His blue-gray eyes were closer to blue than gray and he managed to look absolutely pathetic drowning in his clothes.

"Well... until K'walski manages to fix whatever this thing was, how about we find clothes that actually fit the two of you?" Private said, picking them both up. He was slimmer at fifteen than in his twenties, but it appeared he was still stronger than he appeared. "I think we're lucky – Rico was up in the attic and barely got hit at all with that blast. I think he lost about a year, maybe two." Skipper was still scowling, but at least one of them could still go out and get what they needed.

"Skipper, it's not like you or I could go get anything," Kowalski said, perching himself on Private's arm. "By the way, I think you've got blood on you."

Scowling even harder, Skipper wiped angrily where Kowalski pointed. His knee was scraped up, and it hadn't been beforehand.

"Skippah, let me put a plaster on it, so you don't get blood on yourself and others," Private said, sitting his teammates at the kitchen table. "What did you do, anyway?"

"Nothing," Skipper growled. "I had a lot of scrapes as a kid, okay? I probably fell off my bicycle or something when I was five and since it appears that I physically de-aged, what about you Kowalski?"

"What do you notice different?" Kowalski asked. He grinned widely, revealing missing teeth and a crooked smile topped with freckles.

"You're a cute kid, Kowalski," Private replied. He pulled out the box of bandages from above the sink in the medicine cabinet and removed one from the box. "Now hold still, Skippah, so I can put this plaster on you." Grumpily, Skipper stopped squirming so Private could put on the bandage. "There. All better." Smiling, Private picked up Skipper and Kowalski again, going into the living room where Rico sat. "So. How're we going to fix this?"

**154 Jealous** (Genderbend!AU)

Juliet was getting in close to Rico, and Kowalski was having none of it. She sat down between the two of them and nearly snarled at the African woman when she spoke to her.

Later that evening Rico said to Kowalski, "You're cute when you're jealous. Nothing's going on, and nothing's going to happen, okay?"

"Fine. But if she even tries anything, I will remove her head."

"Alright. Go ahead. I'm not stopping you."

**155 Know**

"_I love you."_

"_I know."_

Two weeks after watching _The Fox and the Hound, _Rico had picked out one of the Original Trilogy Star Wars movies. Private suspected it had something to do with that scene, since Kowalski was lying right up against Rico sniffling a little.

Private had the sneaking suspicion that you could tell a lot about a person from the movies they watched.

**156 Air **(Fantasy AU)

"Thank you," the alchemist said, breathing deep. A humungous bandit had held him by the throat and was cutting off his air supply and Sir Skipper had driven his sword deep into the bandit's shoulder. The bandit immediately dropped the alchemist and lunged at Sir Skipper, pulling the sword from his shoulder to use against the knight.

Rico beat the bandit with his staff and impaled him with the sharp edge. "I hate bandits," he signed, checking over Kowalski.

"I know you do," Kowalski replied softly, tipping up his head so that Rico could look at his throat.

Sir Skipper watched this exchange with something akin to amazement. Before that, he wasn't certain how close the other two men were. Now he wasn't exactly sure, but they were closer than he expected. Sir Skipper didn't want to ask how close they were, for he truly didn't want to know.

But he wanted to know what he was dealing with.

**157 Dublin **(Kico)

"And this is where I'm from," Rico said, waving an arm out to encompass the city they were standing in.

Looking around, Kowalski said, "It's beautiful. Why'd your family leave?"

"I got attacked by a dog. Freaked my mom out. And then we moved out into the countryside." Rico's voice, in addition to the usual rasp, was soft and a little pained.

Kowalski smiled a small smile and pulled Rico into a hug, right there in front of everyone. "It's okay. I get it. You don't have to tell me any more if it hurts to." They stood like that for a few moments. "I understand why you lived here. Dublin's a beautiful city."

**158 Family**

"They are my family," Private said. "I would do anything for them." He breathed hard from thrashing against his bonds, trying to loosen them up enough to escape.

Blowhole only smiled evilly and tightened the ropes, digging them into Private's skin. When the boy hissed, he gave them one last tug and tied them off. "Let's hope they would do anything for you then."

Private glared, blue eyes just as sharp as Skipper's. "They would." He hoped.

**159 Blue**

Looking up from his sketch, Rico noticed that Kowalski had stopped writing and was staring out into space. Quickly, Rico grabbed his charcoal pencil and drew. By the time Kowalski had looked back down, Rico had an outline and a good portion of the details done. The main part of the sketch not finished was the eyes. Rico drew them but didn't like how flat the charcoal made them look. He scowled, not sure what to do about how flat they were. Looking back up at Kowalski, he noticed that the older man was staring at him, blue-gray eyes locking onto his own sea-green ones. Murmuring to himself, he grabbed one colored pencil and added to the sketch. "Perfect," he muttered, noting how the deep blue color of the pencil made the sketch's eyes really pop.

"What's perfect?" Kowalski asked, looking over at Rico.

"Nothing."

"Alright, whatever you say…"

**160 Handle**

"What do you mean 'we have a handler'?" Skipper asked, eyes narrowing.

"Exactly what I said – _we have a handler and we didn't know until today_." Kowalski looked more irritated than stunned by the fact and continued, "And you won't _believe _who it is."

"If you tell us it's Ringtail, I will have to hurt you," Skipper replied, unamused.

"If it was, we wouldn't have a handler, now would we?" Kowalski was equally unamused by that comment.

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"Skippah, Kowalski, what do you mean by 'handlah'? That doesn't make any sense to me," Private said, interrupting to two snarking back and forth. Rico amused himself by staying out of the conversation.

"A handler is the person who gives us all of our mission information. I don't know why they haven't revealed themselves before now. And I feel like an idiot for not realizing who it is." Kowalski dropped his head onto the table.

The others shared a look before Skipper asked, "Well, who is it?"

"You won't believe me."

"Try us."

"Mrs. O'Malley."

"No way."

"Yes way. I feel so stupid for not seeing it. And you won't believe the other thing I found out. She's _Manfredi's sister_." Everyone gave him a silently stunned look at this new revelation. "I had a nice long conversation with her today... and I feel like my head's going to explode. This is insane. How did none of us figure out we have a _handler_? Much less who it _was_? That's what I want to know."

**161 Bra (**Genderbend!AU)

"This has to be the most awkward thing I've ever done," Skipper said, turning his head away from the sight in front of him.

"That time in Oslo," Kowalski countered, tapping her chin and then using that hand to flip through her choices.

"Not counting Oslo. That will forever be the most awkward," Skipper agreed.

"What happened in Oslo?" Private asked, tipping her head and reaching for her choice.

"I'll tell you later, Private. Right now, I've got to ask – red or black?" Kowalski said, plucking her options from the rack and holding them up.

"The red one would look nice, but I think the black one would be more comfortable," Private stated.

"That's what I was thinking. And I know what it would look nice with too."

"The little black dress?"

"The little black dress."

Private squealed. "You look so pretty in that! Skippah, what do you think?"

"I think I should stop going with you when the two of you go bra shopping."

**162 Black**

The ash was slowly turning from black to gray in the early morning light. Kowalski knew he shouldn't have run to the last known location where his teammates were, but they needed him, doctors' orders be damned. At least he had his crutches.

By the time he managed to get to their location, it was too late. The building was crawling with people, and he didn't see anyone he knew. When he was able to flag down a police officer, he asked in broken Danish if they'd found anyone inside and that a couple of his friends were missing and he couldn't find them. The officer looked at him with a sad look in his eyes before saying that there'd been two bodies found, with little identification on them. What identification there had been, let them know that they were from the United States.

Kowalski's eyes widened and he dropped to the ground, the officer in front of him calling out to a paramedic.

Later, when they asked him to identify the bodies, Kowalski couldn't deny that it was Manfredi and Johnson. It was only after everything was all said and done and they were back in New York that he realized that the Danes liked him, unlike their utter disdain and banishment of Skipper.

To this day it still baffles him.

**163 Wait**

The hardest part of not being on the front line, Private decided, was the wait. He shifted minutely, trying to pass the time until the target appeared. In the background he could hear a soft murmur, likely Kowalski muttering to himself while he disabled the security system. He ignored it in favor of checking his rifle, making sure he had everything and that it was all in working order. It all was.

Finally something happened, and Private said, "Target sighted," into the speaker of his communicator. Kowalski confirmed and sent the location to Skipper.

"Go for it," Kowalski stated, giving Private the go-ahead.

"Of course."

**164 Oxygen**

"So, we've landed. And there's a surprisingly high amount of oxygen here, likely enough to breath."

"Nice work Kowalski. Let's roll out men."

**165 No**

From the far end of the hall, Hans could hear small cries, and one sound was repeated consistently. Sighing, he silently moved that way and opened the door. It was the third time that week that the poor kid had started crying in his sleep. Hans could understand why Private wasn't sleeping well – hell, he himself was barely sleeping at all, and when he was, Hans kept hearing "It's okay" over and over again.

After what had happened, he knew why Private kept crying "no" in his sleep.

**166 Happy**

JJ was a happy kid – generally. Being the youngest of five, having a disappeared dad, and the occasional slip-up in his mom's training as a spy could get him down. But not for long.

**167 Smoke**

Turning around, Hans spotted smoke on the horizon. Instead of going back toward the burning warehouse, he shook his head and kept walking away. There was nothing he could do for two of the American spies and the third was stable enough for emergency services to find him. For now, he had to report in to his superiors.

**168 Storm** (Fantasy AU)

Sir Skipper noticed that the closer they got to his Lord's castle, the worse the weather was. There had been at least two thundershowers and for some reason a freak snowstorm that had kept them stuck in one place for three days. Sir Skipper listened to Kowalski – and that's all the alchemist had ever told Sir Skipper to call him – grumble about it for the three days, mostly when the fire had gone down a little too far.

And while they were stuck, he'd learned quite a bit about how to communicate silently. But it still unnerved him slightly to watch the two of them working together.

**169 Dangerous**

"The two of them are obsessed," Kowalski stated one muggy afternoon. It was hot enough without having to watch _those two _fight.

Private gave him a puzzled look. "Who's obsessed?"

Kowalski stared for a brief moment, judging how much Private knew. He sighed and stated, "Hans and Skipper. They're obsessed with fighting and beating each other."

"Oh, well, alright then." And with that, Private walked away and Kowalski breathed a sigh of relief – he was _not_ going to be the one to explain Skipper and Hans' twisted form of foreplay.

**170 Love** (Kico)

Rico loved watching Kowalski's face after they kiss. He loves how Kowalski's pupils dilate, the black almost overtaking the dark blue-gray. He adores how Kowalski's already kissable lips bruise ever so slightly and swell a tad, making them even more enticing.

But what he loves most is that Kowalski dives back in for more.

**171 Sleep**

Skipper was currently running on about four hours of sleep over about four days. Julien, their African neighbor, had been playing obscenely loud music all night, every night, for the last week. This, in turn, made Kowalski pull rank – because, due to technicalities, he was actually the senior officer – and force Skipper to stop interrogating the coffeemaker.

**172 Lightning**

His hands were lightning-quick, blocking Skipper's every movement, seemingly evading and striking back at the same time. Skipper considered himself lucky – he wouldn't want to be on the bad side of this man. This went on for several minutes, and Skipper had the vague feeling that the other man was toying with him. It wasn't until Manfredi called out, "Johnson, stop playing with him, you'll make him feel worse," that his suspicions were confirmed. Johnson was just testing him. Within seconds, Skipper was flat on his back and staring up at the ceiling in confusion.

**173 Blind**

Kowalski never asked Manfredi and Johnson what had happened to Johnson's eye, why Manfredi had scars across his neck, who the girl was in the photograph with them that they kept, and what happened to her.

He figured it was best not to open old wounds.

**174 Shaky**

Kowalski knew it, as did Skipper, though they chose not to talk about it. There were little things pointing it out, subtle ones. Things that showed just how much Kowalski straddled the fence between good scientist and evil scientist.

It was not a good thing that the Jiggles incident came about – Kowalski had shaky enough morals anyway.

**175 Sorry**

"For the longest time… we didn't take any solo missions….

_I'm sorry, I'm so damn sorry._

"We were scared, mostly, that we would lose each other.

_I don't want you to die too, not like that!_

"It was a very painful time for both of us."

* * *

Notes:

**Air** is sequel to **Ax** which is sequel to **Bellows  
****Scare** follows **Eat** follows **Increments** follows **Hand**

151: Because I needed to remind myself that Hans is a bastard. Setting: Sort of like "Huffin and Puffin" but this time Kowalski knows who Hans is too.

152: Ditto with Blowhole.

153: Kid!Skipper, Kid!Kowalski, & Teen!Private – adorable? Yes. Also, this won't be everything from this type.

154: I can see it. And if I can see it, I can usually write it.

155: If anything relating to Star Wars is wrong in here, I blame the fact that I haven't seen them in a while and I can't find our copies of the Original Trilogy to confirm anything. So, wrongness gets fixed after I either watch the movies or someone points it out. Until then, nothing happens.

156: I don't know why I like this AU so much. And I haven't even gotten to the point where they meet Private. Poor Kowalski. And Aww, subtle Kico!

157: I don't know, it showed up in my list of words. It's cute though, right?

158: Blowhole, why must you be a bastard? Go Private!

159: It was a slow day at the team's HQ, okay?

160: I swear to god, I should stop listening to my subconscious. She likes this idea. It marginally freaks me out. Oh well.

161: What happened in Oslo? I don't know, but it probably involved cross-dressing at some point.

162: Poor kid.

163: Sniper!Private. Always fun.

164: er… don't shoot me for this, but remember when they went to the "moon" in the TV show? Yeah, this is then.

165: Dead Team bit. Poor Private.

166: The world needs more Eggy. And more Handler!Mama Duck. So much fun.

167: After the Copenhagen Incident from Hans' POV.

168: Subtle Kico is subtle. Oblivious Knight is oblivious. Fun? Fun.

169: One of these days Kowalski is going to say (in front of everybody) "That's it, no more foreplay in the dining room!"

170: The world needs more Kico.

171: Operation: Break-Speare is sooo much fun to play with, I tell you.

172: Johnson, you're awesome. No lie. Even half blind you're a bad-ass.

173: Johnson's eye? No idea. It'll come to me. And the chick? Uhm… a previous teammate, probably.

174: "Jiggles" AND "I know why the Caged Bird Goes Insane" Kowalski's morals. So shaky.

175: Poor Kowalski/Skipper. Whoever is talking.


	8. Eighth Quarter

Title: Moments  
Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar  
Characters/Pairings: Skipper, Kowalski, Manfredi & Johnson, Hans, Private, Hans/Skipper, Red One (Blowhole's 2nd in command, the lobster guy.), King Julien, a couple OCs, Dr. Blowhole, Kico  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?  
Rating: T/PG-13  
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, slash,  
Author's note: Reverse!Genderbend!AU is one where if I didn't switch their gender in the first GB!AU, they are now, and if they were, they're not. Skipper and Rico are women, while Private and Kowalski are not. It's marked by RGB!AU. I'll mostly use it for Next Gen stuffs.

* * *

**176 Knee**

Being the first two back from the mission sometimes had its downsides.

"How much does it hurt?" Skipper asked.

Kowalski looked puzzled. "How much does what hurt?" he questioned, settling down in a chair.

"Don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about," Skipper said, crossing his arms and scowling.

"No, I don't." Skipper scowled further and whipped out a stick, hitting Kowalski's knee lightly with it. The scientist tensed, narrowing his eyes. "Don't."

Skipper grinned and made to tap Kowalski again, but was lightly shocked when the stick was situated at the side of his throat. "I said don't. And you have no idea how much that hurts."

"Then relax and stop walking. God, you need to be more careful with yourself. Neither of the others have any idea that you're hurt, do they?"

"I didn't realize you had noticed." Kowalski pulled a couple of small tablets from a pocket and popped them into his mouth.

"Kowalski, you're dry-swallowing pills. Of course I noticed." Skipper nearly shouted the last few words, but didn't, because they were still working on staying silent from their mission.

"What?" Kowalski's voice held so much confusion that Skipper was willing to bet that he himself hadn't realized it.

"You're pill popping on automatic. I've been watching you." Skipper sat down next to Kowalski and gently took the stick away. "Go take a shower, get warmed up and sleep. Big day tomorrow and I want my men ship shape." Nodding, Kowalski stiffly stood and strode off, not a limp in sight. "He's going to get himself killed, ignoring his pain like that."

**177 Fuzzy** (Hans/Skipper)

_Open this when you're alone, _the note had said. Skipper followed it, since, as it was in Kowalski's handwriting, it was likely something he wouldn't want the others to see. Inside the box was another box, with a second note written on it as well. _Enjoy in the company of others._ "Kowalski… don't tell me you…you did. Ass," Skipper muttered, flipping open the second box.

He placed the box on his nightstand and promptly forgot about it until several days later when Hans asked, "Hmm? And what is this? I do believe someone knows." Slipping up behind a startled Skipper, he murmured, "I'll have to thank them later, once I've had my fun. Tell me, who gave you _these?_"

A trickle of dread slipped down Skipper's spine as something soft brushed up and down his arm. He was going to _kill _Kowalski.

**178 Thank**

It was a nondescript package – plain brown paper, simple twine, Kowalski's name, and no return address. After many scans, nothing turned up and Kowalski opened it. Inside was a single piece of paper and a bottle of chocolate syrup. Smirking, he cheerfully placed the note in his pocket, threw the box in the recycles, and carried the bottle up the stairs with him. He had a willfully pliant significant other to tease.

**179 Scare ** (Bond!AU)

He was almost eaten. He almost _did _get eaten. The scary cannibal was making a fire and was _going to eat him. _ There was a big pot he was going to get stuck in, once he'd been chopped into little bits and _he was so bloody lucky he had backup_ and he was shaking and one of the CIA agents had him and thank _God_ he wasn't going to die.

He couldn't hear it, not really, but the agent holding him was berating one of the others for "almost not making it in time."

**180 Piano**

He'd played piano, once upon a time. Back when his hands were good for something other than knives. Back before he met his boss and joined the legion, quickly shooting towards the top.

Granted, he still played now and then, when his boss wasn't plotting a revenge or world takeover or when he wasn't defeating/being defeated by that crazy scientist who was good with guns.

He still wasn't sure if he was bringing a knife to a gunfight or if the scientist was bringing a gun to a knife fight.

Either way, it didn't affect him now, on his one day off in a long while, just sitting at a grand piano and letting his fingers fly.

**181 Fallen**

The team had gotten close to losing Kowalski once when they were fighting Dr. Blowhole. He was fighting the one they had heard the villain call "Red One" and the two were perilously close to the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. Skipper had seen their twin looks of terror and panic when they realized that they were dangerously close to fighting in midair and falling off the edge. He motioned to Rico who gasped and started running towards the pair. He didn't make it before the two scrabbling figures pitched over the side.

The whole field stopped. Two commanders called to their troops for a tactical retreat.

Within minutes, Skipper and his boys were down at the base of the cliff in a search boat, trying to find their fallen friend.

Needless to say, they found him, sputtering and attempting to cough up a lung.

**182 Fly**

Red One was lucky he knew how to cliff dive. As soon as he and that damnable scientist had pitched off the cliff, he'd pushed himself out as far as he could go, using whatever leverage he could to get as far away from the rocks as possible.

Once out, he swam away from the approaching boat quickly, to the drop point he knew was close by.

"Boss," he said, catching several of his men as they tackled him when he came up out of the waters. "Easy, men. Easy. I'm not dying that quick."

"Red One. Glad to see you're alive and that you made it."

"Glad to be of service, boss."

**183 Red (GB!AU)**

Her hair was red. It was a rich, deep color, one that distracted him slightly every time he looked at her. It inspired his code name for her. Not to mention her entire team had red hair as well.

But none of them had hair quite the same shade as hers.

It matched the blood on her knives.

**184 Twisted**

Every member of Skipper's team had his issues.

Kowalski? The man trusted no one and Skipper was fine with that. It kept them alive.

Private, on the other hand, trusted far too much, and it had gotten them into trouble on occasion.

Rico's issue… that was a tough one. Skipper supposed it began with his strange obsession with explosives that led into a bit of an obsession with Kowalski (*_brain bleach, must find some_) that got the scientist to at least trust someone other than Skipper.

Skipper paused at what his own issue could be. It probably wasn't his twisted relationship with a certain undercover Interpol agent, nor was it likely to be how much he hated Dr. Blowhole. In fact, it was probably how much he cared for his boys – and that care could be a weakness. But it didn't matter, as long as it worked for him.

**185 Girl (RGB!AU, next gen)**

She was pretty, he noticed. Her short blond hair contrasted beautifully with her dark eyes. Jason took stock of her long legs, short black shorts, and dark blue shirt that was just barely long enough to cover her stomach. He managed to make a complete fool of himself in front of her, and when he told his father, the man just laughed and said, "I did the same thing when I finally proposed to your mother. Besides, I wasn't expecting Stephanie's daughter to be anything but a beauty. Now, young man, go talk to her. You were friends when you were younger."

"Just realized she was a girl," he mumbled, taking his father's advice and managing to strike up a conversation with Rosalina Søpapegøjer.

**186 Find (GB!AU)**

Johnson sat next to Kowalski, stroking the younger woman's hair. They're not in the large house they call home, or as Manfredi insisted, HQ. They're in a hospital in Lithuania, where Kowalski is recovering from a run-in with a sadistic doctor that had given her an impromptu surgery. Johnson stood and stepped out of the private room they had managed to get for Kowalski and shut the door, sliding down it.

How the _hell_ was she going to explain what had happened to her superiors? Worse, how was she supposed to explain to young Kowalski that she couldn't have kids?

Johnson gave a soft cry and buried her face in her hands, ignoring Manfredi when he came up and stood in front of her.

"She's not ok, is she?" he asked. Johnson looked up at him.

"No, she's not. She's not going to be alright for a long time." Johnson choked out a sob and hid her face again.

"What do you want me to do?" Manfredi murmured, settling down next to her.

"James," Johnson hissed, "you find the man responsible for hurting her, and you _kill him._"

"Yes ma'am." Manfredi held up his hands in surrender. If she wanted the bastard's head on a platter, he'd give it to her.

**187 White** (Works with 99)

She was pretty, Hans noticed. And kind of boring. She wasn't anything like he had suspected his friend/enemy/on-and-off lover would go for.

Hans knew exactly who she was within two minutes of meeting her. It was that woman who seemed to be close to Skipper but didn't know anything about him.

He took stock of her looks. A little on the short side, bleached hair – probably an accident, judging from the spots that were darker. She didn't look good with white hair – not the way Hans did.

**188 Dance**

He whirled her into an underarm turn, stepping back lightly before collecting her again. He quite enjoyed dancing with her, and wondered why he hadn't before. The song ended, and he spun her again, pulling her back into his arms and walking off the dance floor. The two of them were breathing hard, smiling at each other and sitting back down.

"That was amazing. I didn't know you could dance, much less tango," she said.

"Product of a misspent youth," he replied, shrugging.

"Well it was a well-spent misspent youth then," she stated.

He shrugged again, sipping at a drink.

"Kowalski, we should do this again."

"We should, Marlene. We should."

**189 Jar** (GB!AU)

"You're scared," the agent ventured.

"Terrified," was the soft reply.

"Why?"

"He has a literal jar filled with hearts, Hanne. The question is _why aren't you_?" she'd asked, meeting the eyes of her companion.

"The mad scientist doesn't have ours. That's what's keeping me going."

**190 Mute**

He remained silent, refusing to answer any of the questions that they asked him. He'd given his name, rank, and organization, mutely sitting through the torture they tried. They'd nearly cracked him once, mentioning what they'd do to his partner if he didn't tell them.

But Johnson was more stubborn than they were. He wouldn't tell them a single thing.

**191 Queen**

"—No, no, Daniel Craig really was a James Bond, all of them were," Private said, staring at the screen in disbelief. "What's insane was the jump out of the helicopter. Why would she do that?"

Skipper was stuck on the fact that James Bond really existed. "Even Sean Connery?" he asked. Private nodded.

"What about the author of the books? Ian Fleming?" Kowalski was eyeing Private with some interest – the fact that all of the actors who'd played James Bond were actually the man at some point screamed at him to fully research the phenomena.

"Kowalski, Ian Fleming's novels were watered down autobiographies. And the men aren't actually called 'James Bond,' but they do have pseudonyms." Private shrugged, turning his attention back to the Opening Ceremony.

All was silent for a few moments before Kowalski finally asked the question that was hovering at the back of everyone's thoughts. "How do you know all of this?"

Private simply answered, "Uncle Nigel," as if it explained everything.

It did.

**192 Show** (R!GB!AU)

Hans silently watched as Dr. Finn used her Mind Jacker on Skipper, the female agent slumping against the wall beside her once Finn's invention was complete. The woman looked around, panting slightly, looking around. Her eyes were wide with fear, and she was trembling slightly. Never before had Hans seen honest to god fear in Skipper's eyes, much less the amount she was showing. It made her look young and vulnerable.

He didn't like it at all.

**193 Want** (Hans/Skipper)

"Now you are completely powerless. I can do anything I want with you. Anything at all," Hans purred, tracing a finger across Skipper's chest. Skipper felt his breath hitch and a small wave of shivers cross his skin wherever Hans touched him. "Tell me you don't want this, tell me to stop, and we can end this right here. Right now," the Dane breathed, mouthing along Skipper's neck.

"N-no, don't stop," Skipper whispered, not fighting the ties the other man had tied him up with.

"Good." Hans grinned, licking his lips slightly and following the line of Skipper's collarbone with the tip of his tongue. Skipper let out a soft whine when Hans drew away.

**194 Strong**

"Skipper you have to go on without me," Kowalski said.

"Soldier, wha- oh." Skipper cut himself off when Kowalski tapped his own leg and Skipper saw the bullet hole and corresponding blood stain that went down half of the scientist's leg.

"Go. At this point I'm a liability you can't afford." Kowalski sighed and ripped a strip from his shirt, tying it around the bullet hole. "I'll stall for time, but please, get out while you can."

"Stay strong, Soldier. I'll come back for you," Skipper said. Kowalski saluted and Skipper returned the favor, handing Kowalski a pistol.

"Good luck, Skipper."

**195 Pilot**

"_Skies are clear, Skipper. We'll be back on the dawn._"

"Hold her steady, Kowalski. Want Rico to relieve you?"

"_I can pilot her for a few more hours. Private's been supplying me with caffeine_."

"Alright. I'll see you on the other side then."

"_Roger that. Kowalski out._"

**196 Spring**

Private crouched, feeling his muscles coil. Minutely shifting, he glanced around, noting where he needed to land. Suddenly he moved, using Rico as a springboard to get to the next level of the building. Rico helped him spring, launching Private high enough to catch the balcony railing and pull himself up.

"I'm in," he said over his communicator.

"_Good. Alright, you'll need to go through the ventilation system,_" Kowalski said, sending a map to Private's eyeglass display, a red line tracing the route he needed to take. "_Follow the red line. I'll update it as needed._"

"Understood. I'm going in," Private replied, silently approaching the nearest vent.

"_Good luck._"

**197 Summer**

It was a sweltering day, the moisture in the air clinging to the back of Nick's throat. He straightened his bowtie and twirled the golf club in his fingers. Smirking, he flicked the ball sitting on the T up and around the clown head and down a small slide just on the other side to sink the ball into the hole.

He didn't see the young man watching him.

**198 Fall**

"Skipper," Kowalski started, voice tight. "I am a penguin. I am an emperor penguin, just as much as Rico is a rock hopper and Private a fairy." He clacked his beak at the only member of the team still human. "Fix it."

Skipper brushed down ruffled feathers, scratching at the back of Kowalski's head. Kowalski chittered involuntarily. "Want some fish?" he teased, nearly getting bitten in response.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen," Hans chirped.

"Shut up Hans!" Kowalski spat, angrily chirruping. Try as he might, he couldn't escape from Skipper's grasp and resigned himself to being held.

"Hans is a puffin?" Private cooed before laughing.

"Even as a puffin, I could _still_ kick your tiny tail feathers," Hans sneered, turning around on his perch. The spy had taken his transformation with dignity.

Rico snored loudly, the bright yellow feather-tufts on his brow shifting slightly with every breath.

"Right. I'm going to fix this. Somehow. Kowalski, to the lab," Skipper said, carrying Kowalski down to his basement laboratory.

**199 Winter**

Kowalski stood on the balcony, staring at the city lights. It was quiet, and snow had just started to fall.

"Merry Christmas, Kowalski. Why're you out here?" Private asked, joining Kowalski outside. When he'd opened the door, a smattering of chatter and music followed.

"I like the cold?" Kowalski tried.

Private didn't believe him. "You hate the cold."

Kowalski tipped his drink toward Private. "I do."

"Then…?" Private trailed off.

"Perspective." Turning his back to the city, Kowalski headed back in. "Come in when you're ready."

**200 Fascinate**

"You are absolutely… _fascinating,_" Kowalski said, stormy eyes glittering. He circled Rico, shark-like. Rico was silent, watching Kowalski move, keeping his guard up. Kowalski was in a mood, one that Rico wasn't sure how to respond to. Pausing behind Rico, Kowalski crowded him slightly, nosing Rico's hair. "You smell like black powder," he murmured. Hands slid up Rico's arms to his shoulders, settling.

Rico looked down at one hand. Kowalski's fingers were long and lean, calloused and hardened from years of shooting and science. Kowalski snuffled into Rico's hair.

"So hardened, so worn, polished in beautiful ways…" he breathed, the air flowing over Rico's ear.

Rico spun, a hand going to Kowalski's throat. "You're not Kowalski."

The fake grinned. "No. I'm not. I'm not your precious scientist. Well. I am, but I'm not _yours_. He and I traded places." The grin turned feral. "I'm the one he keeps locked up. A regular Henry Jekyll, this one."

"He might be Jekyll, but you're no Hyde," Skipper said, knocking the door in. A laser dot was focused on Kowalski's forehead, indicating that Private could take the shot if he needed to.

"Hello Skipper." Kowalski smiled. "Your scientist is all locked up in here." He tapped his temple. "And he's not coming back out."

Rico growled and punched Kowalski in the face, knocking him down. "How do we fix this," he grumbled, sitting on the scientist's legs.

"By getting off of me and letting me do my job," Kowalski said. "Thank you, Rico. For knocking me out. I have to fix this." He looked Rico in the eyes. "Please. Let me up. I have to do this. If I don't there's no telling what he'd do and please. Rico."

"Off him, soldier. Private, we're clear," Skipper said. "Fix this Kowalski, you're a threat otherwise."

"Done and dusted."

* * *

Well, two years later it's finished. Wow. I'm sorry it took this long to finish, I really am. I had a blast writing these, and I hope you enjoyed reading. There are a few that I might pick up later, but that's for another time. One last time, I'll lead you to the specific notes.

176: Trust me, bad knees HURT. I haven't had knee surgery and I'm hopped up on pain medications most of the winter. If it hurts me that much, imagine how much worse it must be for Kowalski.  
177: I totally blame one of the friends I've made in college. This is all her fault. You know who you are.  
178: This one is her fault as well.  
179: From the scrambled/freaked out POV of Bond!Private. First time I've written him in a few months.  
180: And if you've seen EITHER of the Dr. Blowhole episodes, you remember his second in command – Red One. This guy? That lobster.  
181: I like pitching Kowalski and Red One against each other. Twas fun.  
182: Red One is the second in command _f__or a reason.  
_183: Lady Red. Scary lady.  
184: The boys have issues. Lots of issues.  
185: Rosalina is Lady Skipper and Hans's daughter, while Jason is Kowalski and Lady Rico's son. I like next gen. It was fun.  
186: Johnson is terrifying, pretty, and very, very good at her job. Manfredi does not want to irritate her.  
187: The episode where Marlene was accidentally bleached white? Yeah. Hans isn't impressed.  
188: I can dance various ballroom dances. And I had been at a competition not long before I wrote this particular one.  
189: I've wanted to use this for a while now.  
190: Johnson always has been and always will be a badass.  
191: Written post-2012 Olympics. It's just a fun little idea I had.  
192: Return of the Revenge of Doctor Blowhole  
193: Um… if I'm remembering right, what Hans says right at the beginning is from The Return of the Revenge of Doctor Blowhole. It's how he says it.  
194: damn it Kowalski, stop being a martyr and sacrificing yourself for your team.  
196: Private used Rico as a springboard. :3  
197: Oblivious Private is oblivious. And Kidd likes to stare.  
198: Obligatory "turned into another species" short, with canon species!  
199: Merry Christmas!  
200: Jekyll and Hyde, anyone? I want to expand upon this at some point. It's a fascinating premise.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

~Myde


End file.
